Kanji For Beginners

I Hate Mr. James.

2009-10-18T22:04:00.004+10:30

Racism is an ugly word. It’s a word that conjures images of bigotry, hatred, lynching, internment camps, heavily armed and heavily ignorant folks.

I’d be lying if I said I’d never been the victim of racism; true, most of it is the not-so-offensive ‘positive discrimination’ kind (people stopping their cars at green lights to let you cross the road, or store-owners giving away extra stuff seemingly randomly, schoolgirls screaming “I love you!” As you go by. etc.) Occasionally though you also get less welcome prejudice: the black vans driven by the ultra-nationalists are a great example, driving by and calling for Japan to be made ‘pure’ through the expulsion of foreigners. It’s not exactly what you’re longing to hear as you wander the streets (although they do often become mysteriously quiet if you smile and wave as they go past).

I don’t think Japan has a problem with racism on the whole, but I’ve often thought the nation does have an issue with racial and lifestyle sensitivity. I can’t believe that TV broadcasters get away with using Bobb Sapp as a ‘substitute gorilla’, or that ‘Hard Gay’ is allowed to continue unchecked. Just about anywhere else, ONE appearance of these characters would be enough to cause a sociological fit.

This is Mr. James. Eating McDonalds for every meal since the mid 80's hasn't made him fat, but it has made him iconographic of modern Japanese xenophobia.

The latest cringe-worthy media phenomenon to make me wince is ‘Mr. James’, the star of McDonald’s newest advertising campaign. Mr. James is American, he dresses and acts sort of like a cross between the Steve Carell’s character from ‘The 40 year old virgin’ and Mr. Bean. He wanders Japan basically looking and acting stupidly and speaking mangled Japanese. Basically he’s a caricature of a ‘foreigner’.

Usually I would have taken the whole campaign and dumped it into the ‘so dumb it’s funny’ basket, where a good 80% of commercial media over here lie anyway. But then I happened across an article in Time magazine, complete with a note that an organization had complained about McDonald’s ‘portrayal of foreigners’. I started wondering if I should be genuinely offended; is Mr. James really an unofficial spokesman for every English-speaker here? Admittedly the fact that there’s a competition that encourages people to act like the man doesn’t really help.

One of the burgers that James-san is trying to sell. It might be an attractive alternative to cannibalism in some cultures I suppose.

Personally, I’m less bothered by Mr. James than by the products he’s pimping; My friend gave me a promo-voucher for a free Mr. James burger, so I decided to try out the cheese-croquet special, which basically turned out to be a crumbed block of liquefied cheese with pieces of shrimp and corn floating in it on a bun. No Mr. James, you will NOT be getting my return business.

Now go back to Oregon, you dirty foreign dog.

My own private culture dance.

2009-06-28T11:37:00.001+09:30

Things have been quiet at school lately for two reasons, firstly there were the mid-term exams, which (as in educational facilities around the world) pushes students into a studying frenzy as they realize just how little work they actually did over the vacation. I sympathize, and every time I visit a Shinto or Buddhist shrine, I throw some loose change and ask that I may never have to take another calculus test as long as I live.

The other thing that’s been sucking time is preparation for the school 文化祭 (kind of a ‘culture festival’). It’s like a fair, and all the classes and clubs have to design some sort of thing to do on the day. Cafes and ‘Haunted Houses’ are quite popular ideas, and a lot of the clubs do demonstrations or exhibitions of their sport or art. My role in proceedings seems to be to provide spelling and grammar assistance in terms of signage and bilingual menus, thus ensuring that Nogatas English-speaking population (of what? 5 people?) Can successfully navigate and order coffee. That’s some cultural sensitivity right there (although if you’re Korean I guess you’re out of luck).

I often wonder if the English teachers of Japan deserve a cultural designation of their own; after all they do seem to gravitate toward each other, and they have a unique social construction and dynamic that sets them apart from any other group of people out there. Where else in the world can you sit in a maid-café with people from five different continents and argue over how to best restore consciousness to near-comatose teenagers, or which piece of animated pornography is most offensive?

It’s interesting to note how your cultural conception of yourself and others changes as you adapt to being ’somewhere else’, we define ourselves in lots of ways, but many of them are intrinsically tied to factors external to us; where we are and who we’re with; I went from not really considering my ethnicity as a factor in my existence, to regarding it as almost my single most defining characteristic. I’m Shaun, and I’m a 外人, a foreigner. Even to my fellow foreigners, I’m ‘Shaun the Scottish-Australian guy’.

Also interesting is the way that foreigners generate a distinct cultural identity of their own, formed from a mélange of western cultures with some hefty slices of Japan; I’m thinking of strange saki cocktails, ‘parties’ in the onsen and perverse obsession over the horrible English grammar found on most fashion. Particularly interesting is the way that foreigners use language, wielding together parts of Japanese and English to form a set of hybrid slang perhaps that only finds use amongst this niche community; a few examples:

Genks? –How are you? (from the Japanese ‘genki’ for fine/healthy)

Iina! – Sarcastic ‘That’s great’ from ‘ii na’, Japanese for ‘great right? or ‘lucky right?’

Bow-fest – An event involving a lot of speeches and bowing.

Gaijin-hunters – Japanese people who have a fetish for foreigners.

‘(That’s) NHK’ – A waste of money, from the fact that the NHK collects TV license fees on a voluntary/honour basis and it’s very easy to evade payment.

So, example dialogue:

A: Hi man, genks?
B: Hai, I’m ok, I’m kind of hungover from my office enkai last night.
A: How was it?
B: Ok, kind of a bow-fest though, and there was this gaijin-hunter who wouldn’t stop bugging me.
A: Iina! What are you up to now?
B: I’m gonna go play some pachinko, wanna come?
A: Ugh, no thanks; I think pachinko’s pretty NHK.

Do you feel elucidated? Perhaps I’ll share some more next time. Right after I finish getting UNESCO to designate my mall as world heritage site.

New World Order.

2009-05-19T18:56:00.002+09:30

Hi! Remember me? Yes, I've been absent for 4 months, which while it doesn't really seem that long in terms of actual linear time, in internet and pop-cultural terms is probably equivalent to the time it took protozoans to turn into amphibians. Consider that at the time of my last post George W. Bush was still running the U.S.A and everyone on Earth could still get a 60 inch plasma TV and an SUV on credit, even if they lived in a cardboard box... seems a while ago, doesn't it?

Truth be told, I had something of a revelation, courtesy of an article by Leonard Twitts Jr. in 'The Daily Yomumuri' wonderfully entitled: 'No Time For Twitter'. (it's here) I think the internet is a great idea, and it’s wonderful that people can share their thoughts and ideas, but do you really need constant on-the-fly updates whenever that guy you once talked to once for a few hours flying from London to Frankfurt has a toothache? In more personally relevant terms, do you really want to hear what kind of fish I get in my bento every day?

I started blogging, because I moved to Japan, and my logic went that it’d be a lot easier to just write about how things were once, rather than sending endless e-mails and accidently leaving people out. I figured there’d be endless wacky tales to relate and strange things to photograph, and that life over here would miraculously always provide a wellspring of subjects of universal interest.

The thing is, life just isn’t wacky and ‘different’ anymore; after 2 + years the endless stream of crazy cartoon mascots, horrendous public displays of English grammar and esoteric supermarket products just seem… normal. I still raise my eyebrows on an all too regular basis, but the thing is that ‘life in Japan’, just doesn’t seem to warrant the wordcount that it used to.

So, I’m gonna shift the focus, and try to get more ‘idea focused’; less ‘I did/saw/went to…’ and more ‘have you thought about…’ perhaps. Of course, I’ll keep putting up photos of stuff that makes me giggle, and you’ll likely see a lot of cross-cultural musing (there’s no escaping thinking about where you are after all). But I’m gonna cut back on the pictures of shrines and ‘I went to the pub and…’ stories, unless specifically requested. Don’t worry, I’m sure you can still fill all your ‘scenery of Japan’ photo cravings with a quick web search.

Back from the carbonite (yet again),

Shaun.

My desk on an average workday. Note the preponderance of manga and the lack of actual work.

Rats out, Oxen in- 2009 Let's Begin! wave pom-poms.

2009-01-09T01:03:00.004+10:30

Ok, so first off; I guess I owe everyone out there a giant obnoxious all-caps rendering of Happy New Year! (I was remarkably light on the cards this year after all… hey, it saves trees). So, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope you’re all coming to terms with the Christmas weight gain, and have dealt with the New Years day hangover (both alcohol and credit-card debt induced).

And to all those native Japanese speakers that I neglected to send New Year cards to (hey, it’s not my cultural tradition… and it saves trees) a big Akemaste Omedeto! I hope you enjoyed your time off from the salaryman/salarygal salt-mines. Now back to work!

This is how they party in Tokyo; with precarious steel cables all round! Sometimes I wonder if the city has such a quaint idea as a 'fire code' in force- there is no evidence so far to suggest this.

So here we are, once more with a brand new shiny year to look forward to, full of hope promise and ‘Yes We Can!’ spirit, and a dusty old year we can hopefully look back on with a sense of satisfaction and pride rather than loathing and disgust.

So, in terms of keeping the public record current, I’m here to present a short sampling of some of the more memorable moments of 2008, as witnessed by this humble soul:

New Year 2007-2008, it’s best to start at the start; so when the year of the rat ticked round I was sprinting through a throng of people in Harajuku, Tokyo on the path leading to Meiji shrine, head full of ideas about ‘Hatsumode’ and spending New Year partying with Japanese people in a Japanese way, the clock ticks down, there’s screaming, shouting and general cacophony, and then… cold. And the reality of waiting in a queue for hours to have low-denomination coins likely impact the back of your head sets in. We decided to head back to the pub instead. This year I got things right by just curling up with a pint from the get go.

Salarymen in the classroom; I love my shiney new high-school gig, but I firmly believe that the world of the Eikiwa (conversation school) is unrivaled when it comes to quality of soundbites. ‘Sensei, please explain ‘Suck me sideways’, I think Japan should be king of the world, like Toyota’, ‘My wife is a whore, it is bad for our health’, ‘Is Australia big, like the ocean?’ ‘You are a man who is worthy of fine death’ and ‘Does this textbook have sexy pictures?’ Are just a few of the question/comments I fielded in the line of duty.

Also how they party in Tokyo; this shot is from a delightful bar appropriately named 'Sex Trumps'. Yes the word stitched into the nuns habit on the right is the four letter expletive that you think it is. (Read that sentence again and adjust your reality appropriately)

Leaving Sasebo; It’s fair to say that my leaving party in Sasebo was possibly the biggest ego-trip a person could imagine; I’m not sure if I’ll ever get over walking into a bar plastered with my own visage and standing on stage singing mangled Backstreet Boys songs for a goodly portion of the night. To everyone involved again, a massive ‘Thank You!’

Return to Oz; I’d often wondered during my time away what coming back to Adelaide might feel like, but I know I never visualized being semi-conscious and nauseated. My girlfriend pleaded with me to stay a few extra days, (‘Shaun, you might die’ being her exact words) but in the end she dosed me with Tamago-saki (that’s hot saki with raw eggs dumped in it, uhhh… thanks Mina) and gave me a shoulder to lean on as I staggered to the departure gate. I stopped over at Singapore and blacked-out on some benches; then got back and tumbled into my parents arms. A definite candidate for most horrible aeronautic experience ever.

Cultural-reaclimitisation; It’s amazing just how ingrained cultural-behavior and expectation can become; after a year of bowing and ‘arigato gozaimas!’ It’s hard to stop, and I’m sure I weirded out more than a few baristas in the Rundle Mall coffee shops, using a knife and fork again seemed novel, and my house seemed HUGE. In terms of food too, switching from bento-boxes and sushi-platters to plates of steak and pasta was kinda trippy. It’s always strange to be reminded just how much you are a product of where you are, some things never change though; I still tingle whenever I take a bite out of a Tim-Tam (no matter which hemisphere I’m in)

Reality-checking; Remember that old TV show ‘Northern Exposure’ about that big-city doctor who got sent up to Alaska kicking and screaming? That kinda what moving to Nogata felt like; I remember riding the train in with my luggage and seeing a giant chain of rice paddies and thinking maybe I should be scoping for Viet-Cong out there; images of having to grow my own vegetables and bartering stuffed koalas for baked goods ran through my head. Lucky for me I’ve got a giga-mall next door and I like the wildlife; now I love Nogata, it’s like the ultimate blend of quiet-living and wanton commercial decadence!

Parties, parties, parties; End of year parties are a giant deal for the overworked proletariat the world over, and this year was no exception; there are school parties, private parties, company parties, family parties… and as a minor local celebrity (‘cause of y’know… bein’ foreign and speakin’ English and all) I end up going to a lot of these things, which is fun; but often ends up with your colleagues trying to recruit you to sing old sea-shanties… in Japanese, or your students grandma starts quizzing you about your financial independence, just in case romance is blooming, or your girlfriend’s co-workers giggle manically while trying to embarrass you with poorly phrased ‘risqué’ questions (‘girls… you like?’) Sometimes a guy just wants a beer and some cake!

Who knows what wonders/terrors the year of the Ox/Cow/Water-buffalo/Bison (whatever it is) will hold? Only time, and rampant global governmental spending will tell!

Actual snow, in *my* town; which like all snow looks pretty but is actually cold, wet, slippery and dangerous. Making snowmen is still fun though.

Party like it’s 2009 (‘cause it is),

Shaun.

Shaun's Jolly Anti-Christmas Entry!

2008-12-02T20:31:00.000+10:30

Economic downturn aside, there's no doubting that capitalism is still the big kid on the block in terms of global influence; it's trounced pretty much every alternative social idea out there; and even manages to have some weight in all those hold out socialist, theocratic or autocratic regimes that constantly give us streams of headlines (which in turn lets the news-media sell advertising space). Some say that capitalism is the globes defacto unifying force. Maybe we don't all understand Shintoism, Islam, Mormonism, Pastafarianism or whatever; but even kids in the worlds muddiest hellholes who have never been to school get what a fistful of Dollars/Euros/Yen means.

Two events have got me thinking about the power that economic forces have over our lives; the first I read in a newspaper, where a crowd of shoppers broke down the doors to a Wal-Mart before opening time and stampeded inside to get to their 'Black Friday' sale a few minutes early, on the way in they trampled an employee to death. People then stepped over the corpse to keep shopping. I guess those people were really keen to get some cheap consumer electronics.

The second was something I perceived personally, the morning of November 1st I woke up in my old stomping grounds of Sasebo; walked with my girlfriend to her workplace and kissed her goodbye, on my way to the local coffee shop (a quadruple mega-espresso always helps with the post-party hangover) I passed one of those trendy 'lifestyle' stores, just in time to see the employees physically removing their Halloween stock and replacing it with Christmas merchandise. Somewhere deep down I suspected we were always living in a state of perpetual holiday-spending, but such a tangible transition made me pause for a moment; don't we even get a weekend off?

Halloween in Sasebo; Mutia/Pippy Longstocks = cute. Shaun/Schoolgirl = quite scary; admittedly, substituting whiteboard marker for eyeliner may have been a mistake.

When I got back to Nogata my local mall was the same; no more black and orange streamers and faux-cobwebs, now it's green and red balloons and faux-snow. Oh and those ultra-obnoxious tinny, piped Christmas songs; the ones that supposedly cause low-level psychosis if you listen to them more than a few hours a day.

It's possible to debate if Christmas is still a religious holiday in principal, but here in Japan it certainly isn't; there isn't a cross or a nativity in sight. You might see a few Angels, but it's pretty likely that they'll be rendered anime-style, which takes the edge off. What we get around here is 'Xmas' in it's purest form; with all the crazed marketing might that the worlds second largest economic power can muster. J-pop starlets in santa hats, special 'Noel' blends of beer, T-shirts with unintelligible seasonal slogans ("Ho Ho to your reindeer in sled-heart" I saw the other day). The first 'holiday themed' porn mag came out in the local convenience store a few days back too. *sigh*

I got an e-mail question asking 'Are Japanese teachers really tidy?' I present this image as exhibit A in the case for the negative.

Japan is renowned for being ahead of the curve in terms of business enterprise; I wonder if 'Christmas in Japan' is the future of the commercial world as a whole; saturation holiday marketing where cultural relevance and understanding take a back seat to incessant marketing and constructed spending compulsions around the entire calendar; I should probably be bracing for the Valentines day blitz early.

Anyway; happy holidays world, just remember not to crush anyone underfoot on your way into the giant mall we all live in.

Sumimasen, Shirimasen.

2008-10-15T20:39:00.004+10:30

The title of today's post roughly translates as 'I'm sorry, I don't know'. It's something that I say a lot. Partially because it's kind of a catch all that's awesome at simultaneously feigning linguistic ability and dodging having to construct a longer sentence, and partially because I'm still pretty new in town and I really don't know a lot of things about bus stops, exam timetables and the new Evangelion film.

Despite all that I feel like I'm making steady progress on the 'personal betterment' front. Me and Linda (now HMS Linda) have a new mutually beneficial arrangement where I get to go to work faster and save myself 150 yen in bus fare and she doesn't get all scratched up from me falling off every 30-60 seconds. I'm slowly adjusting to life as a bike commuter; I just wish someone would send my legs a sharply worded memo that all this 'pain' will not be tolerated. Still, I guess I could be paying money to ride a bike that sits in place at a gym, so I'll keep the moaning to a minimum.

Proof that I'm still being social; I run back to Sasebo every time I feel like life is 'too normal'. This is part of the cast that proves it's really *not*.

The language barrier is slowly starting to crack just a little under my onslaught of flash-cards and persistent listening exercises; I finally managed to get my head around the whole hiragana and katakana sybillary, and can now oficially 'read' all the manga and literature aimed at the under 15 crowd that I want. I say 'read' because being able to phonetically decipher something doesn't mean you understand a word of it; still, it means I can puzzle through the menus at family restaurants and read the names of students in my class lists, so there are some definite lifestyle improvements. I've taken to bringing random pieces of 'shojo-manga' (comics books aimed at young girls) into the staff room to 'study' at work. Consequently I've kinda become a lending library for the whole office. Life is strange.

Shauns latest addiction; berry 'soyjoy' bars. It's soy grain, berries and added iron. Astronaut food never tasted so good (for real!)

I like to think it's helpful though; I can hold down a rudimentary conversation now, which is more than a whole bunch of my students can do in English. I think may main problem is letting go of my cultural ideas about words and how to use them; 'sugoy' is a good example, it translates as 'cool', but only 'cool' as in 'that's really good', you can't use it (like I continue to do) to say 'that's ok with me' or 'good idea'. It can also mean 'that's awful' for bonus confusion.

So really, half the challange of learning the language is getting into a different mindset; the one where negatives and personal pronouns are really rare and you venerate everything about the person you're speaking to. The process is really interesting though; I'm more willing to cut those 'really shy' students some slack, since I'm sure I sound really boisterous in Japanese. Luckily people cut me a lot of slack, and I've got a girlfriend willing to nudge me with hints (even though she's a 'rowdy Okinawian'). I guess I'm destined to always be brash. :P

Today's Engrish signage is from Gion in Fukuoka city; obviously 21st century ideals of non-descrimination never made it to this noodle bar... how sad.

Anyway; life continues, lessons are taught and days become colder. Some weekends I get out and others I don't, some days I drink beer with friends in playgrounds, others I don't. You get the gist. Life is all good and cruisey.

And with that I'll leave it and go back to the non-cyber world; adios global denizens!

Mr. ALT, this is your life.

2008-09-25T19:37:00.004+09:30

It's been a while again, but this time I'm really gonna protest against being called lazy... I've genuinely been wanting to get into 'cyberspace', 'the blogosphere', 'the cloud'... whatever people are calling wherever this action (typing something that will eventually be made available on the Internet) places me... for a while now. I just haven't had much of anything to write about, and seeing as I'm not one of those people who likes linking news stories or youtube content and adding commentary (Because frankly, I just don't feel comfortable espousing a solution to the subprime mortgage crisis or the Iraq/Afghanistan conflict) it's left me somewhat short of content.

So... I figured I'd give you all (uhhh... all *what*? 5 of you?) a 'day in the life' type summary of what it's like to be me; the life of the quintessential ALT.

6:50AM- Wake up to J-Pop themed phone alarm, stumble blearily from luft-bed trying to avoid ankle sprains or other injury on the stairs. Open the curtains and curse loudly if it is raining again.

7:15AM- Post shower, shave and smacking head on bathroom door consume breakfast; possibly one or a combination of the following: bananas, toast made in the microwave, last nights sushi (retrieved from fridge), yogurt (or yogurt/jelly substance of unknown origin), orange juice, milk, anime-themed cereal.

7:30AM- Leave apartment, consider riding bike if dry otherwise resolutely pop umbrella and trek bravely into monsoonal conditions.

8:00- Arrive at Noko. Smile broadly and yell a combination of 'Ohayo Gazimasu!' and 'Good Morning!' at arriving staff and students to reaffirm 'happy/crazy foreigner' rep. Switch out outside shoes for indoor shoes in staff lobby.

The gates of Noko. The giant clock that greets latecomers with an analog representation of their failure in punctuality is a nice touch.

8:03- Arrive in staff room, continue to say 'Ohayo Gazimasu' constantly to fellow staff while weaving towards desk. Sign up for bento (lunch) on the sign up sheet, dig in wallet for business card when failing to remember how to write your name in katakana (AGAIN).

8:30- Morning staff meeting; stand, bow, sit. Listen to the Vice Principal and various other staff members make announcements and report news, nod attentively and pretend to at least partially understand, clap when appropriate.

8:40- Homeroom. You have no homeroom. Pour a cup of percolator coffee and drink slowly while reexamining the schedule you have memorised. Choose between making flashcards for Japanese study later in the day, reviewing flashcards you already made or reading a few more pages of 'Lonely Planet's guide to Hiking in Japan'.

9:00- First Period. Think about what classes you have tomorrow. Plan, make, and print necessary materials after discussion with the Japanese teacher in question. Alternatively, use the same activity you did yesterday/last week, print the necessary materials and debate with the geography teacher over which Michael Crichton novel is best.

10:00- Second Period. Go to class, nurse somewhat tender hand after high fiving every second student you cross paths with on the way. Greet class, and ask a random person 'how are you?' Appeal to Japanese teacher to explain why the answer 'rain' is not appropriate. Make class repeat key phrases and do a carefully planned activity. Try to keep a straight face when random students (boys and girls) respond with 'I love you!' to questions they don't understand.

11:00- Third Period. Return to the staff room, spend a few minutes studying/practicing Japanese, then make some tea and sit down with the newspaper and get up to date on all the ways the world is going to hell. Silently wonder if you are the only person on the planet who has never actually heard what Sarah Palin's voice sounds like.

12:00- Forth Period. Finish the newspaper cover to cover (even the Sumo news). Return to your desk and practice some more Japanese. When stomach noise becomes audible cave in to temptation and sit down with your bento box. Have fun guessing the identity of the various meat, fruits and vegetables you are eating, and indeed which are which. Briefly feel morally superior to your colleagues due to your use of non-disposable chopsticks, lose the feeling when you realise that you've been given disposables again and they're gonna get tossed anyway.

1:00- Lunchtime. Pour another cup of tea and sit down with staff, attempt to practice your Japanese by joining conversations about which students are most delinquent and whose mother-in-law the most intolerable. Tell the staff about your past and plans for the weekend. Field basic questions about the Western world as a whole.

2:00-Fifth Period. Teach again, assemble materials and go to class, 'help' the Japanese teacher by translating their readily understood Japanese instructions (open your books, stand up etc) into English that the students don't understand. Practice pronunciation and try to make students say 'clothes' instead of 'clothezez'. Have an activity, explain it, have the Japanese teacher explain it, model it and then heap praise on the 25% of students that perform it successfully, more praise on the 60% that try and fail and attempt to look disappointed at the 15% that use the worksheet as a fan as they talk to their friends.

3:00- Sixth Period. Go to locker room and change into PE gear. Go to gymnasium and join in whatever class happens to be in session. Watch kids giggle as you routinely fail to get the ball in the basket or whatever. Use your height to unfair advantage as much as possible and celebrate victory in a completely overblown fashion.

3:50- Cleaning time. Go out and supervise kids while they clean the school. Practice your Japanese by mocking them incessantly for failing to actually do any cleaning. Have basic conversations and teach kids ridiculous handshakes. Fend off girls attempting to solicit your phone number and/or organise coffee dates.

4:10- Seventh (extra) Period. Return to staff room and fill out daily work report. Clean up your desk and think about what you need to do when you get home. Make lists as necessary.

4:30- Say goodbye to colleagues and leave. Walk out yelling goodbye and waving to students as you do so. When clear of the school gates strategically loosen tie and tune into mp3 player.

5:10- Arrive back at apartment. Change into civilian clothes, fire up computer and munch a few cookies to revive flagging blood sugar levels. Sign into facebook, g-mail and blogspot and hammer out wordage as appropriate. Try to ignore the implications of cyber-dependence and thank god again that you don't have a World of Warcraft account to worry about.

6:00- Domestic time- washing, cleaning, ironing, tidying. Turn up the music and attempt to find satisfaction in sanitising your domestic realm. Fail again.

7:00- Shopping. Wander over to AEON, head straight to the sushi section and grab whatever's left now that it's late enough for it to all be half price. Do the same with the milk and whatever desert will hit its use by date in 2 days. Feel awesome about rorting 'the system'. Briefly feel morally superior about using eco-bags, but then lose the feeling when you see that every cookie in the bag is individually wrapped. If you encounter students pretend it is the most exciting thing that happened to you in months. Dodge hugs from schoolgirls by high-fiving when they approach with open arms.

7:30- Return to apartment. Make an enlightened choice between watching TV, DVDs or something on the Internet or perhaps even reading or playing a computer game. Eat and drink as you partake in such activity, try your hand at multitasking by managing more than one recreational activity at a time. Text-messaging, eating, watching TV and saving the planet from space aliens simultaneously will surely be a marketable skill someday.

More of the Shinkansen girl, here in her Autumn getup. I'm still waiting for a Pachinko machine to be made out of this ad series.

10:30- Get into bed and possibly read something deep and mentally nourishing... or whatever you can get your hands on that happens to be in English. It may end up being a bilingual pamphlet about trafficking in human sex-slaves.

And that's about it! Wash, rinse and repeat! Maybe next time I'll write something about the 'average' weekend. Right now though I'm off schedule; and those DVDs don't watch themselves ya know...

Ciao for niao!

New Friends, Childhood Dreams and the Shinkansen Girl.

2008-09-12T22:30:00.005+09:30

I'm back! Not from the future... but from Fukuoka! (Yeesh, that's gotta be a candidate for 'worst play on words in the blogosphere' right?)

So Fukuoka was cool; the immigration stuff was boring as expected, but at least it went smoothly. I'm now no longer in danger of deportation. Yay fo' me. The rest of the weekend I hung out with Mina; walked around Fukuoka, went to some parks and shrines, ate some ice cream and drank some coffee (iced), did a little shopping for her sisters birthday (it's lucky I'm not embarrassed to be seen walking around metro areas with a giant seal-body pillow), then went back to her place for some cooking and summer night beers while looking over the skyline. Consider me content; it really is good to be back and relaxed.

This has actually been a good week in lotsa ways; aside from a three day workweek (I looooove the public service!) there's another public holiday next Monday! No karoshi for Shaun! I serendipitously ran into another one of the area ALTs at the mall the other day; Greg from Zimbabwe, who's really cool and seems to share my passion for eating and drinking things. He cemented a special place in my heart with many gifts- firstly a couch, the only problem with giving me a couch is that I have no car to move a couch; I got into the spirit of African tribeswomen and hauled it the 2km back to my apartment regardless... on. my. head. Luckily for me it's the type that doesn't have a frame, but still; I felt damn manly (read: sweaty) afterwards.

Shaun and Greg; approximately 50% of Nogatas foreign English teaching contingent, and approximately 50% of the towns sex-appeal in one convenient package.

Second, I am now the proud owner of a bicycle! Her name is 'Linda' (after her previous owner) and it looks like she's done some hard service carting teachers like me to the workplace and beyond for many years. In any case, the bus is on the way out, and excellent thighs and calves are on the way in. I only have one problem; I haven't actually attempted to even go near a bike in something like 18 years.

That phrase, "it's like riding a bike" is completely erroneous. I can't ride a bike, I've been going out to the parking lot behind my apartment and doing ovals while I try to recover whatever anemic cycling skill I possessed as a pre-teen. I'm not sure what the Japanese people who walk past think; probably that it's some bizarre gaijin custom to wobble around a parking lot going 'woah!' and almost tumbling off every few seconds late at night. Hell, they probably think I'm drunk.

In a piece of random news to finish up, I've developed an appalling crush, really, like the stupidest celebrity crush I've ever had (OK, maybe not quite as stupid as the one on Phillip Schofield). It's mainly stupid because it's a girl on a poster. A poster that advertises a train service. A train service that isn't completed. In any case, I've already almost walked straight into two people while staring at her image; I'm not even sure why, objectively I don't even think she's that pretty, but there's just something about her smile. Anyway take a look and judge for yourself; am I deviant?

The smiley gal who makes me want to ride the unfinished Kagoshima shinkansen without due cause, damn you vixen!

Sports Festival, First Year

2008-09-08T21:28:00.003+09:30

In Australian High schools there's sports day; I remember it well, and even with a certain fondness- there's totally nothing wrong with no class and no homework when you're between the ages of 13 and 17. I admit I wasn't completely into the actual sports side of thing; running fast, jumping high and throwing far have never really been great aspirations of mine, but I remember liking the hair spray and talking all day with my friends.

In Japan there's sports festival and it's uhhh... different. Not that there aren't sports; it's just... different sports, and group displays. Yeah; LOTSA group displays. I've already mentioned the cheerleaders and coloured board displays that turn groups of people into sort of living LCD readouts, but the boys also do this thing with synchronised pole twirling, and then there were a ton of groups doing everything from traditional drill team stuff to these intense martial arts displays.

There was running too, but it was definitely a side-show next to the parts where people dressed in full Kendo gear competed with people carrying longbows to carry random objects around an oval, or the teams of 20+ people trying to race with their legs tied together, or the aforementioned Kibusen battles. Seriously, I sat in the teachers tent (in between rounds of tug of war and ball tossing anyway) with a fairly droopy jaw most of the day.

A massed display of students. I don't know what this gesture means, but I'm 100% sure it has nothing to do with Naziism... probably.

Anyway, upsides to sportsday include an excelent cardiovascular workout, an awesome tan (although seriously dramatic should you happen to see me shirtless... or watchless), and a free staff shirt. The biggest plus was the enkai (roughly translated as 'work party') after the event; we went to this seriously classy conference venue, ate a lot and drank a lot, then moved on to a kareoke bar and ate not much and drank a lot, then went to an isakia and ate a little and drank a lot. We also sang songs (both kareoke and otherwise) and I somehow managed to converse with people with virtually no functional command of English. I guess all that study time must be paying off. Seriously, any language learner will tell you your fluency goes through the roof after the first 2 beers.

This pic is for my parents; yes, this is a cafe for dogs and cats- It's on my walk to school. There are in fact small tables and menus of pet food and drinks. They have things for humans too, I had a coffee there the other day with a charming beagle.

Today I'm going to Fukuoka to a) become a legal worker and b) get in some quality girlfriend time. Can you guess which one I'm excited about? If you need a hint- I hate filling out paperwork in big, dull government offices.

So I have a train to catch, bye fo' now peeps!

Shaun

Stubbing your toe on the language barrier.

2008-09-03T22:08:00.004+09:30

I've had some time to settle in by now, and I'm pretty much found a groove (or 'rut' if you're feeling pessimistic) to life here in a new place. As I mentioned earlier, Nogata really is a lot more 'relaxed' than Sasebo; both in terms of the job, and the place itself.

That means I have time for a lot of things that all too often went by the wayside before; I peruse the newspaper every day, along with finding time to read actual books (I'm on 'The Island of Dr. Moreau' right now, it's really good!) I stroll home after work because I'm not in a hurry to be anywhere and I like the journey, and sometimes I just sit outside on a park bench near my apartment with a cold cola or beer and watch the clouds roll over the mountains. It's all very zen.

The clouds scrape the mountains near my apartment. I can only imagine how picturesque the scene would be without the power lines.

Of course Sasebo is still there if there's a desperate need for crazy parties; I went back for the past two weekends, and while I'd love to say the place has changed dramatically... well, it really hasn't. This is probably a good thing, since the people I knew and loved are still just as loveable as ever. I admit to even being slightly entranced by the continuing soap-opera-esque drama that seems to envelop the town; no details here ('cause I never kiss and type) but congratulations to those who hooked up, commiserations to the post-break up crowd (You're better off, trust me) and 'good luck' the the rest of the population just trying to stay out of the line of fire- you'll need it.

At work, sports-day preparations continue apace; with lots more marching, banging of drums, practicing of dancing, rope tugging and the like; I finally got assigned a 'block' today (it's like a 'house'... y'know, like Harry Potter) I'm on team 'white' (yeah... RACIST right?) :P Anyway, I immediately got drafted into the 'ball scramble' team on the basis of height alone. Better than being on the Kibusen team I guess; that just looks scary.

I had something of an attitude adjustment a few days back regarding my approach to Japanese language learning. During my previous time I really did take an 'osmotic' approach to the language, soaking up a little here and there when and where I deemed it particularly useful, interesting and/or hilarious. There really didn't seem much need to go beyond that, particularly when the population of foreigners had ensured widespread adoption of English, and the use of Japanese was outright forbidden at work.

Now however it's a different story; In a place that often lacks English signage, populated by people who are truly and overwhelmingly monolingual I find myself constantly forced into impromptu games of charades to get anything beyond the simplest thought or request across. While in English I'm a tertiary-level language major who eats discourse, commentary and criticism for breakfast, in Japanese I'm about as accomplished as a crack-head barely holding down a job in a grimy convenience store- you know the one, the guy who can answer 'yes' and 'no', count to ten and ask if you want your insta-burrito heated, but can only manage a 'huh?' when you ask him what he thinks the weather will be like this afternoon.

My shoe locker in the staff lobby at Noko; at least I can write my name (well, most of the time).

Frankly, it's frustrating; I'm sick of dragging the office secretary to the fax machine because I can't read what any of the buttons say, I'm sick of giving questioning looks to friendly staff members who are trying to ask me questions that any Japanese kindergarten kid would be able to answer and I'm sick of asking 'do you like karaoke?' because it's one thing I can say fluently. It's time to do what no person who's not actively enrolled in an educational institution should have to do-

It's time to study.

Tonight's 'strange Japanese product' award goes to this new variety of 'No Calorie' (known as 'Diet' elsewhere) Coca-Cola + (PLUS!) Vitamin. No telling *which* vitamin they put in there, but the stuff tastes the same to me.

And so, armed with two phrasebooks, a Japanese/English dictionary (thanks Taea!), some self-made flash cards and a buncha free time I'm gonna try and crack this thing open; I'm putting in a few hours and work and some extra at night. This, combined with the fact that I'm freakin' living in Japan hopefully means I should be able to muster some proficiency within a reasonable timeframe. I'm aiming to be as smart as a 1st grader within 6 months. I'm asking you to hold me to it people.

And with that, ja matte for now; I'm going to review my particles.

Shaun.

Noko is Loco.

2008-08-29T22:16:00.006+09:30

I've officially survived a whole week as a high school teacher. Everybody may now cheer.

You know what? It wasn't even hard. In fact I'd go as far as to say it was really, really easy. I walked in expecting to have, well, classes; it turns out that as I'm at the 'sports-centered' Nogata high school and the annual sports festival is approaching, practically all the class time has given way to athletic and performance practice sessions; this means the (quite large) quotient of P.E. teachers are relatively busy, but the 'geeks': those of us who teach things like history, maths, Japanese, English and the like are essentially working in a practical vat of free time.

So this week I've made a few speeches, taken a tour of the school, chatted a lot with the staff, studied some Japanese, eaten some lunches, drunk some coffee and generally tried to act like any conscientious educator would in my situation.

Nogata high school, more often known as 'Noko'. The main building was obviously designed by a person with a fondness for concrete, rectangles and communism.

The staff have all been really nice, friendly and helpful; and they all do their best to meet my broken Japanese with English responses. I've got some big shoes to fill; my predecessor Taea (a charming young Hawaiian woman) came to visit the school for a few days before she said goodbye; she helped me out a lot with advice, and everyone will miss her muchly I'm sure- still, just another reason to swing by and visit Hawaii right?

The kids are all really cool too- some are shy and stammer when they try to speak to me, others are so enthusiastic that they just grab and start speaking Japanese, again I feel like a rock-star; there's nothing like having a gaggle of cheerleaders begging you to dance with them to boost a guys self-esteem. One first year student made my day when she found out that I knew who Haruhi Suzumiya is and then proceeded to organise her friends to perform the dance from the shows title.

Inside a classroom (class 2-3 to be exact). I hardly ever get to be in one of these so it's quite special. Also, the kids haven't dissolved, they've just changed into sportswear and left behind a giant cache of hello-kitty accessories.

So really so far my job involves wandering the halls of a high school and making small talk with students and staff, occasionally observing and occasionally participating in sports, VERY occasionally preparing some materials and ASSISTING in teaching an English class and generally bringing my Shaunitude to the institute as a whole. Far be it from me to complain about Japanese tax dollars subsidising what often feels to me like life in a slightly surreal sports club.

Most wacky/fun things about the job so far:

a) I am the shoe king!: I own and use no less than 4 pairs of shoes while on the job; 'outside' shoes, 'inside' shoes, 'gym' shoes and 'track' shoes (and that's not counting school provided bathroom slippers). I am now proficient in changing footwear in under 8 seconds.

b) Student servitude: there is no janitor, students clean the school in the 15 minute 'cleaning' block at the end of the day while teachers 'supervise'; they even come into the staff room and empty our wastepaper baskets and sweep the floor... never has being slovenly been easier!

c) Coordination central: 'Sports day' over here isn't just about running, jumping and spraying your hair a funny colour: it's about high-grade crowd synchronisation. Everything from student marches to cheerleading to massed displays using coloured boards is controlled with loud communal yelling, taiko drums and megaphones. Sometimes it feels suspiciously like the Nuremberg rally (then the cheer squad plays a Spice Girls song and the illusion is shattered).

Anyway; as always, I'm having fun, being silly and am not dead. Mission accomplished I say.

Stay busy people of the world,

Shaun.

From the 'bo, to the No'.

2008-08-22T16:39:00.005+09:30

So here I am, once again back in Japan, and once again preparing to jump headfirst into a life of a foreign educator. Exciting eh?

Actually, by the time I'd woken up at 4AM after a fitful 4 hour 'rest' in bed, said goodbye to my nearest and dearest, transferred through to Sydney, agonized for several hours over which of the anemic selection of airport novels was the best choice to accompany my entertainment and meal-less budget airline flight, sat through said flight, wrangled through all the forms and protocols required by Japanese immigrations and customs, collected my luggage and trekked to my hotel, I was less 'excited' than 'barely cogent'.

Leoplace 21 appears mundane at first glance, but it is secretly home to SHAUN! The English teacher with the karaoke strength of 10 salarymen!

I think a lot of it comes from familiarity; I remember landing in Narita last year and being bombarded with the newness of it all; for weeks I could be entertained just by browsing in supermarkets, but by now the thrill of that observation and experimentation has been replaced by nonchalance. I've eaten at a Mos Burger, I've seen 'Hard Gay' on TV and I know I like 'World Executive Blend' coffee from the vending machines (hot, not cold).

The inside of 'Casa del Shaun' (otherwise known as 'my apartment'). Note the fact that it has light fittings; more than many places come equipped with.

Of course the flip side is that things run a lot more smoothly with the experience; the next morning I jumped through my public transport schedule without a hitch, met the friendly company rep and moved into my new apartment without a single problem... an hour in and I had gas, hot water and my internet all hooked up. Brilliance. For bonus convenience points there's a giant mall over the road from my place, so if I forget to buy milk (or flatscreen TV's, or engrish T-shirts) it means a 2 minute walk back to store rather than an epic car ride.

The view outside my apartment: Nogata AEON mall. When the zombie apocalypse comes, this will be my fortress.

Nogata as a city feels a lot more quiet than Sasebo, the train station and mall ahve a quiet buzz, but not the intensity that I lived with before (then again, maybe I've just been jaded by my time in Tokyo and Oaaka). I like it though; my apartment is a brand new Leopalace kitted out with Ikea-esque storage solutions (I sleep on a luft-bed now... a dream fulfilled!) I miss my bilingual CNN, MTV and Superdrama; but hopefully that'll just mean I'll spend my time doing sometime more productive than watching TV.

Nogata: quiet, pretty, calm and oppressively hot and moist (currently)

This week has been mostly training with the company; it was all very relaxed and amiable, and the people in charge seem to have absolute confidence in us all (if only they knew!). The welcome party was nice, and hopefully we'll all manage to catch up once in a while and trade notes. I got to see some of Kitakyushu too, which was cool; another castle crossed off my list!

Right, so there's still stuff to be done; furnishings to buy, days to plan, plots to scheme... y'know, the usual. I'm a busy, busy man.

But right now I'm going down to the pub for a pint. It *is* Friday after all.

Kampai world,

Shaun.

Blog defrosting.

2008-08-14T01:03:00.003+09:30

Right, so it's been forever since I wrote anything on here. In fact I'm pretty sure you could have written a screenplay called 'Kanji for Beginners'; pitched it to some studio execs and singed a bunch of A-listers and made a movie about some guy who was out of his depth in Japan in the time it's been between posts. Come to think of it, why hasn't someone done that?

My official excuse is that my computer melted, I got coerced/seduced into facebook, got a girlfriend and was otherwise too busy having adventures to actually write about them.

Or you could just say I got slack. That's accurate too.

Anyway; since I'm heading back to Japan I figured I'd give this another shot. Maybe this time with a preponderance of free evenings and some zappy 'can-do' spirit (the sort I'm telling myself will be engendered by work in the public education service) I'll manage to stay on top of the chronicle this time around.

Right; so I've got a new layout inspired (read: stolen) by (from) the work of Japanese manga genius Kiyohiko Azuma. I've got a new laptop, a new haircut, a new apartment, a new job and a new town to work in. I also have new anxiety and old foibles. But whatever; I'll deal.

My new job involves teaching high-school kids in a town called Nogata, Fukuoka prefecture. Don't know where that is? Let me help.

Right, so now you all know enough to come and visit, I promise spare futons for all! (crazy random internet people excepted: please apply elsewhere). Not sure if you want to visit? Here are some fun facts to encourage you:

- Nogata used to be a coal mining town.
- There is a coal mining museum in Nogata.
- I will be living in Nogata.

Most importantly:

- Nogata is near Fukuoka.

I have also developed a methodically planned 'to do' list, to maximise my 'Japan time'. Notable aspirations include:

- Spending an entire day in an onsen and seeing if I feel better or worse afterwards.
- Going to a Puffy AmiYumi concert.
- Finding a Japanese person who not only has heard of, but likes 'Azumanga Daioh'
- Devising a plan to somehow get paid to lie on a beach in Okinawa
- Going a week without eating out of a convienience store
- Keeping this blog semi-regular.
- Upholding the ideals of the founders of the United Nations.
- Bringing peace to the Korean pennisula

If anyone has any other suggestions or ideas I'd be very happy to hear them; otherwise, start booking those tickets; I need company!

Shaun(y).

Livin' in the hood.

2007-12-15T00:35:00.000+10:30

It's an 'emergency' post today, just to let everyone know that I have in fact NOT been shot in a sports club recently.

In case you didn't hear (and I'm pretty sure you didn't), that's exactly what happened up the road from me this evening. Some whack-job walked into the gym up the road with a rifle and shot a swimming instructor dead and wounded a bunch of other people just trying to keep out of the obesity epidemic.

Sod... I'm in the safest frickin' nation on Earth and I happen to be down the road from a bloody MASS SHOOTING. How's that for irony? It's a good night to stay in with the telly me'thinks.

More info at http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/12/14/news/Japan-Shooting.php

Stay out of the line of fire world.

Shaun.

Gomen...

2007-10-03T11:21:00.000+09:30

Ummm, anyone still out there?

Another epic gap between posts; this time due to large scale (like blue-whale sized) technical difficulties; specifically my computer suffering from a Chernobyl-esque metdown that left it completely inoperable.

The upside is that I'm typing this on my brand new Japanoputer, which is a mondo-sexy Sony Vaio (I'll leave out the geek-drooling for now, suffice to say that I'm very impressed with the keyboard action).

Anyway, I promise to get back to uploading all the entries I've been taking copious (and manually recorded) notes on throughout my adventures, and there are adventures to be recounted... trust me.

So stay tuned... GTS is back, and as wryfully detached as ever.

Stars.

2007-07-10T23:45:00.000+09:30

There's a lot of festivity this month! Next on the celebratory hitlist is Tanabata, the Japanese star festival on July 7^th. The legend goes that two separated lovers (the stars Altair and Vega) are allowed to meet each other only on this night... awwww... romantic huh? The occasion is celebrated with a summer festival, and people tying poems, prose or wishes to the branches of bamboo trees.

Our Japanese class decked out in Tanabata wear and lookin' spiffy. See the lady on the far right in the blue? That's Fumie my teacher who's slowly but steadily improved the level of my Japanese from 'non-existent' to 'existent but bad'. Quite the achievement.

Luckily, we had the staff of our Japanese language program to explain this to us, this week we forgoed our regularly scheduled lessons in exchange for a Tanabata party, allowing the girls to get decked out in classy kinomos and the rest of us to eat some traditional sweets and write out some wishes; my three this year are (in no particular order):

A pair of shoes that FIT.
The ability to control my kid's classes through sheer force of will.
World peace.

Really, I'll settle for one out of three. The most nerve-wracking part of the festivities was having to give a short speech in Japanese talking about yourself. Luckily I had my teacher Fumie to polish out my grammar mistakes and brief me on how to pronounce everything, domo arigato Fumie-sensei!

Post festival celebrations (the day after actually) I jumped on a bus down to Fukuoka to help Katy get her Birthday celebratory vibe on. Amanda pulled off some stellar organization and a fabulous array of Mexican food, we cracked out and carved up a candle laden watermelon (how Japanese huh?) Then we went down to the park for some more firework-themed shenanigans (wooo! I still have all my fingers, that's 2 for 2!) We stayed up sipping champagne and pontificating about life until the wee hours then eventually retired for some much needed kip.

Katy with her birthday watermelon (tea-lights included), tasty AND far healthier than the traditional calorie-loaded 'cake' alternative; Japanese ingenuity scores again!

I spent much of the afternoon hanging around Amandas place while she was out, taking the opportunity to read my way through some more Haruki Murakami, this time it was South of the Border, West of the Sun, which gets high marks from me for noirish atmosphere and visualization but lost out a little in the actual 'storytelling' sense; I'll still give it a recommendation though since you can read the whole thing in under 4 hours.

Getting festive in the park; we danced like nobody was watching. Unfortunately, someone was. Damn you Amanda! ;)

In the afternoon I grabbed a coach back to Sasebo to do dinner with Laura and Lani and reaffirm my testosterone filled manliness with a cinematic session of Die Hard 4.0, awesomely cinema's in Japan don't suffer hangups about allowing food or beverages onto their premises, so we grabbed a six pack and proceeded to sup our way through it as Mr. Willis got progressively more violent and blood stained in his pursuit of justice. Afterwards we went down to the local park and climbed onto a gazebo roof and watched the fish jump in the horribly polluted river while we philosophized. Very Dawson's Creek, no? :P

Now of course it's time to start another work week. Hooray. Yay. Woo AND Hoo. Pass the tie and call me 'sensei', I've got a whole bag of grammar, vocab and listening skills to teach before next Sunday!

Starlight and love,

Shaun.

Stripes.

2007-07-05T10:38:00.000+09:30

One of the best things about being an English teacher in Japan is the vast array of people you meet from all over the world (or at least the English speaking world). Suddenly it's rare to have a group of friends who share an accent, and getting carded at the pub is a cool excuse to check out the drivers licenses of the globe.

Another benefit is that it provides an excuse to celebrate an inordinate number of national holidays; before I didn't even know when Canada day was, now it's marked on my calender and I'm stockpiling maple syrup in anticipation.

In any case, living among such a vast quantity of Americans, it seemed remiss of us not to do something to mark the anniversary of the nations, uhhh... nationhood. You can only imagine my shock and disappointment when I found that the only 'official' July 4^th celebration was held behind the secure perimeter of the Sasebo Fleet Activities facility. 'This shall not stand!' I muttered to Lani and Laura and set about organizing a suitable homage to George Washington et all.

Laura and Lani... ummm... in my bathtub. Don't ask me how this happened (or why they were both in my tiny bathroom AT THE SAME TIME.) But we were lucky there were no fatalities. Note how Lani is reaching out for help while I'm standing taking photos. What are friends for, right?

Not that there was much organization to do, seeing as our idea of a celebration involved those two great pillars of Americana- fireworks and hard liquor. It's been so long since I've had ready access to explosives (what with Australia being one big tinderbox and all) that my childlike joy could hardly be suppressed when I walked into Jusco and found an insane quantity of near military grade explosives to choose from, all available over the counter.

So after work I got back to my apartment to find Laura and Lani already engrossed in beer-swilling and MTV watching. There were many toasts (some even non-ironic) to Lani's homeland, then we wandered down to the park to set off our stash of sky flowers. For some reason we had this idea that it would be cool to set ALL the freakin' things off simultaneously; while the visual result was indeed spectacular, it generated enough noise that we actually ran away before we were arrested under some festivity-crushing noise-pollution ordnance or something.

Fireworks! There's enough firepower here to level and entire civilization (of ants). I think the bottle of I.W. Harper is a nice touch too, it really screams 'responsibility'.

At this stage the bar seemed a good idea, so we wandered off to Playmates, then proceeded to party with the Navy for much of the night, I was amazed by how many of them didn't actually realize it was July 4^th (or 5^th actually at this stage) unpatriotic sods! Still they bought us beer which was nice. Happy birthday America!

Oh say can you see?

Shaun.

Balls must be kicked, deportation must be avoided.

2007-06-17T23:12:00.000+09:30

I was back up in Fukuoka for the last few days, it seems like I’ve been living up there on the weekends lately; Most of the trips have been company sponsored, seeing as I’ve had to take multiple trips down to the immigration office to change my visa over from my ‘working holiday’ arrangement (which equates to deportation after six months) to a genuine ‘work visa’ (which doesn’t). I don’t actually mind the travel, because it gives me a fabulous excuse (and a ticket) to go down and see everyone in the big city.

I’m less enamored with my time at the department of immigration, mainly because it involves sitting on a couch for hours, occasionally standing momentarily to hand in/sign some paperwork then sitting down again while some abstract bureaucratic process takes place. Thank god for mp3 players is all I can say.

Anyway, kickball still rocks; we had a totally decent turnout this time round which helped to round out the competition nicely, plus I got to meet some of the newest recruits into the company (Wooo! we’re not the greenest faces on the field anymore!) Actually we only got to play a few innings before the rainy season reared its head and dumped on us with a monsoon. Even that wasn’t too bad actually, we sheltered under a traditional/historical Japanese gate (Amanda mentioned that it is the oldest gate in Kyushu or something), and drank all the beer and spirits we’d brought. Looking back the sight of about 15 English teachers huddled under a historical landmark drinking beer and spirits should seem kinda surreal, oddly enough it really doesn’t by now…. In fact that’s pretty much par for the course. Travel changes your perspectives that way.

It takes more than torrential rain to stop kickballing English teachers from having fun! (From left) Cristina, Lauren, Ed, Katy and Mike take shelter under a historical landmark in Ohashi Park. Extra warmth and comfort provided by the Asahi breweries.

Yeah, so we sat, talked swapped war stories from work, cracked wise (and not so wise) for a while and then scurried off to an ‘English theme pub’ called ‘Morris’ in between bursts of drenching rain. All that good karma I’m building up by being a super-conscientious educator paid off, because (drum-roll) it turns out that the pub stocked Coopers (yes, that Coopers, my hometowns fabulous and much missed pale-ale). In a flashback to a similar experience during my time in London I went crazy and bought everyone a bottle and forced them to appreciate its magnificence. I closed my eyes as I drank and imagined myself back in my beloved UniBar. Then I snapped out and bought a Guinness; sometimes you’ve gotta be pragmatic y’know? At some point in the night we decided that playing Jenga would be an awesome idea. Needless to say nobody’s hand-eye coordination was improved by spending a night in a drinking establishment. Still, fun was had.

Guinness girls! (from left) Lauren, Mitsumi and Amanda with refreshing pints of Irelands finest. Can you spot the Coopers bottle?

I ended up crashed out at Katy’s place, again indebted to the hospitality of my friends, I spent the remained of the weekend exploring some more of Fukuoka and having fun (including making a phone call to my parents from the roof of the ACROS building). I met up with Mike and grabbed dinner at a charming isakia at the end of the day then I jumped on a bus back to the ‘Bo in time to write this and begin another work week. Fun time’s over, time to get back to grammar points and oxygen-depriving neckties.

Be friendly cyber-surfers,

Shaun.

NOVA means 'explosion'.

2007-06-13T22:38:00.000+09:30

Big news in the Eikiwa world today; NOVA (the market leader in our industry) just had their wrists firmly slapped by the Japanese Ministry of Trade, Economy and Industry, apparently over some fairly shady practices involving refund practices and whatnot. Naughty, naughty. More info (if for some reason you’re actually interested) can be found here.

So why am I posting about this? Well, I have a few friends who work for the local NOVA and while I’m sure the company isn’t gonna shut its door and retire its obnoxious half-bunny half-squid mascot any time soon, I AM somewhat concerned about the company going on a cost-cutting spree and putting them out of work. Oh, and it makes it look like I’m actually engaged with events around here instead of just looking like a booze-hound educator with aspirations of tourism.

The NOVA bunny. Dosen't it look like something out of the Cthulhu mythos? And yet the sight of this monstrosity apparently makes people crave an English language education... go figure.

Right, back to my oh-so engaging ironing; shirts don’t artificially flatten themselves y’know…

Shaun.

Furnishings are the spice of life.

2007-06-10T22:51:00.000+09:30

It was a big day for me today, a day that marks the end of an era; the sleeping on the floor era to be precise. Something finally cracked in me the other day when I woke up and found myself staring into the antenna of a reasonably proportioned cockroach. No more floor naps for Shaun, nuh-uh… one day you’re looking at a roach, next thing you’re waking up strangely full and picking bits of shell out of your teeth.

My solution? Cutting-edge convertible couch technology. A soft sprung surface of synthetic fabric supported by four stout posts that doubles as an effective television viewing platform and a comfortable place to lose consciousness at the end of the day. It’s a beautiful functional thing, and a grand monument to my first complete paycheck.

My couch, the new love of my life, a thing of beauty is she not?

Ummm… yeah, so that’s about it. I know it’s a little sad to write a whole entry about a piece of furniture, but hey… at least it’s a little different than my usual “I went out drinking with some people” entries, right? Ummm… not that I having been doing that, but y’know, I know it must get kinda samey.

Because he missed out last time this is Mike, posed here with the same snake juice (it's official name is Habu-sake by the way) that welcomed me to to this town. God-bless 'im, it's nice to have a friend to share your rituals of pain with.

Yeah, so I’m still alive; I have a comfy place to sleep and I’ve gone three whole days without eating a meal out of a convenience store; I don’t think life gets much better than that.

Sleep well world,

Shaun.

New Friends, Jazz and Dental Health.

2007-06-03T16:23:00.000+09:30

Yo cyber-readers! How’s life? Are you staying sane? Did you do something cool today? Life’s flying by y’know! Get out there and have a great day! Ok… finish reading this first though, thanks. ;)

Right, so I’ve been being social lately, I’ve taken to hanging out with a pair of girls who work for the local NOVA lately; Lani (who I’ve already mentioned) and her new roommate Lauren who hails from Devon in England and is brand new to this whole ‘Japan’ thing. Poor thing, she’s landed just as this island is starting to get genuinely oppressively hot; the humidity is killing me, I can’t imagine what it must be like for her.

Ohhhh! New girls! Lani (on the left) and Laura (on the right) finally some people who are even newer at this than I am. This is their first time in an Isakia, bless their little cotton socks. They've already got the ubiquitous Japanese 'peace for photos' pose down pat though.

To make life even more interesting, the company has delivered us an ET to help out with the workload around here (ET stands for ‘Emergency Teacher’ and is no way related to creepy wrinkly aliens just in case you were wondering). His name is Mike, he’s from California, has been working in Tokyo for a bunch of years and he’s pretty much the coolest thing that’s happened at work since I got here, you have no idea what’s it’s like having someone in the office who actually laughs at my offbeat humour.

We all went out for a bar tour last night which involved spending a grandiose amount of time sitting in various jazz bars and trying everything on the drinks menu. We talked about music for hours on end, swapped a bunch of wacky stories, solved all the worlds geopolitical problems and generally did the whole ‘gaijin bonding’ thing that this job seems to tacitly encourage.

Bizarre event of the moment: this week it's the Sasebo 'Dental Health' festival, complete with tooth-brushing demonstrations and an art competition where school children compete to render the best depiction of tooth decay. It's almost enough to make me floss.

In other exciting news (at least for me), I discovered a late-night supermarket about 10 minutes walk from my flat; this means my grocery shopping schedule is suddenly vastly more flexible, and it may save me from having to run down to Jusco during my lunch breaks. I’ve decided that I need to do a serious clear up around here, it seems like the change of continent hasn’t actually improved my housekeeping skills (big surprise) and the fact that I’m having to step over things on the floor to get to the bathroom is a major warning sign of the bachelor lifestyle taken too far. I’m all alone and maidless over here, without family or roommates to share my domestic burdens. Woe is plentiful.

Cool, clean vibes,

Shaun.

Flyers? Japanese? Kickball!

2007-05-26T18:17:00.000+09:30

My, what an active few days; there’s been the standard rigmarole of work which never fails to keep one buzzing of course, but this week I had things shaken up a bit by the beginning of a series of trips down to the local university to do ‘promotional work’, ‘promotional work’ in this case is a super-secret codephrase that translates to ‘hand out flyers’. Ok, it’s not exactly what I imagined myself doing when I was riding the plane on the way over here, but it’s actually kinda fun it’s own way; I mean, you nod, smile and say ‘Hello, how are you?’ about 48 zillion times and shove flyers into the hands of university students. Personally I’d prefer to be giving out tissues, because that would be uniquely Japanese, but hell I’ll take what I can get, and a bit of overtime never goes astray right?

I finally went to my first Japanese lesson on Friday too, well at least my first Japanese lesson that actually involves sitting in a classroom and doing exercises; it’s not like I never get a chance to practice after all. It was fun, I learnt all about introducing myself and saying basic stuff like ‘Hello’ and ‘Goodbye’, which was nice because I already knew most of it, so I felt like I was doing really well. I’m sure it’ll be harder next week though. It made me feel slightly guilty about my paycheck too, I pay 500 yen for a months tuition by dedicated volunteers who come in on their day off to help poor people like me make their way in the country. That’s genuine altruism yo.

It’s been a week of firsts, I also went to my first AEON kickball game this weekend… that’s right, kickball; that game we used to play in primary school. It’s back baby, laced with an attractive new coating of beer and karaoke after parties. Anyway, I’ve decided that kickball is indeed a fantastic sport and I’ve decided that my co-workers are all ultra-cool. They must all have hearts of gold to give me a standing ovation for my inebriated rendition of ‘In the Navy’ (a song, I wisely avoid back in Sasebo on account of the local demographic). Bonus props to Mitsumi too for letting me sleep on her floor instead of Fukuoka central park.

Katy and Mitsumi on the field of kickball glory (otherwise known as Ohashi Koen) representing the US and Canada respectively. They both kick balls most admirably.

Best of all, my travel was all paid for, on account of my visa needing to be re-designated; ok, so sitting in the immigration office is never fun; but I’ll take my breaks where I can get them, besides it gave me an excuse to hang around and shop for the rest of the day, which is something I never really get sick of in Fukuoka (wooo! All you can eat engrish T-shirts!)

Go team Kareoke! Singing, dancing, teaching English... is there anything we can't do?

So by now obviously I’m kinda wiped, and yet I have to get back to work tomorrow… yike, oh well… maybe watching ‘Columbo’ tonight will refresh my tired brain… he’s even more hilarious in dubbed Japanese!

Kick on world,

Shaun.

Goodbye Spencer, Hello Telecomunications.

2007-05-20T22:11:00.000+09:30

It was both a sad and joyous day today.

Let’s get the sad part over with first: Spencer is moving away from the ‘Bo to the greener (greyer?) surrounds of Tokyo and tonight was his going away party. Of course the party itself was significantly rockin’- we went to the local sports bar called ‘Dreamers’ and indulged heartily in all manner of food, beverages and socialization. It’s always really nice to get everyone together in one place, and while It’s sad to see Spencer go, it was cool to meet some new people too, there’s a married couple called Jocelyn and Craig from California and a very funky young lady called Milani from Utah; I look forward to introducing them all to the pleasures of karaoke, pachinko and binge-drinking.

Spencer with his adoring admirers; we'll miss ya man!

It’s kinda weird not being the ‘new guy’ anymore, but it’s cool to be able to help other people and watch them get settled in. It reminds me of the wonder I had during my first few weeks; in a way I’m a little sad that going to the supermarket isn’t an adventure anymore, but I guess it does save time when you don’t have to stop and take pictures of whatever crazed mascot is on the instant noodles this week.

My big exciting news is that I got my Alien Registration Card, which means Wooooo! I’m all legal and the government has deemed me worthy of the ultimate responsibility: cell-phone ownership! No more trying to organize my social life with a notebook and e-mail, yay!

I went somewhat silly in my excitement and walked into the nearest DoCoMo and grabbed the first phone that caught my eye; I ended up with a Foma SO703i as advertised by some J-pop starlet with alarming regularity on CNN. As befits any piece of technology on this island it’s so ridiculously feature heavy that I live in constant fear of launching nuclear missiles at Russia when I put my phone on silent. Seriously, it makes video calls, reads barcodes, gives GPS information… and the best part, it smells. Seriously, it comes with a frickin’ ‘scent card’ so when you’re talking you can smell lilacs. Uhhh… I wonder how long it took the R&D folks to think up that one.

My phone, complete with its 'aroma card'; it scares me that it probably has more processing power than the space shuttle.

Yeah, so anyway I’m back in contact and I spent a good part of today thumping all the numbers and e-mail addresses (‘cause SMS is soooo 2 years ago) that I had written down on a collection of post-its into my shiny new toy. In case you hadn’t noticed I’m pretty pleased. Now all I need is a set of ridiculously gaudy cell-phone charms and I’ll be set.

Stay in touch world,

Shaun.

All that Glitters is not Golden Week.

2007-05-15T00:36:00.000+09:30

*Sigh* well, holidays can’t last forever; and the weekly rigmarole of work has officially returned, not that I’m complaining… much. It’s kinda nice to have the structure back in my life I guess, the students are nice and I have an excuse to eat lunch at the worlds most awesome burger restaurant around the corner from work (it’s called ‘Big Man’, and it serves these deep fried cheese balls which are quite frankly probably the most awesome creation since the inclined plane).

On the downside I have to wear my suit again, and I have to take off my jacket and battle kids and their steadfast reluctance to articulate vocab words again, and I have to listen to listening exercises that sound like awful 80’s sitcoms *again* . Oh well, such is the life of an educator, maybe I just should have picked a cushy job, like military service where you get to wear awesome always-in-fashion camo all day, and the hardest thing you have to do is dodge a few IEDs in Fallujah… I know I’m right because a marine I met in a bar told me so.

Still, sometimes the perks are cool; take this Monday for instance, when the company kindly paid for me to go down to Fukuoka and drink premium beer with a gaggle of supermodels in a hot spring.

Oh yeah, that was just the dream I was having last night before I rolled off my futon and into the harsh grip of reality, a reality that still involved Fukuoka, but replaced the rest with business garb, long bus rides and a long conference about the company’s upcoming self-study campaign (which basically involves us trying to convince our students to buy stuff to help them study at home more).

While I’m skeptical about the campaign (sheesh… how much time can a person spend repeating after a CD before their brain melts huh?) The conference was actually pretty cool if only because it gave everyone who joined AEON Kyushu in the last few months the chance to meet each other and swap e-mail addresses; I got to go out to lunch with Christi and Lauren again, and I met a bunch of really cool people too; I signed up to play kickball in Fukuoka on the weekends (even though I probably won’t be able to make it that often). That’s pretty awesome since I might get some fitness time in too; although melding the kickball with beer will probably act to balance things out.

It was also cool to get a chance to sit down and get some quality time with Chihiro (hell… there nothing like four hours of bus riding to encourage story-swapping; boredom is everyone’s common adversary). Again I’m impressed by her charming accent, and it’s nice to know there’s one staff member that won’t go ‘ehhh?’ when I say ‘zed’, ‘flat’ or ‘petrol’. Bloody colonials… they’re taking over the world I tell you!

Today's photo features signage from the local loan provider. A bold counter to those who claim there is no truth in advertising.

Right, so I just wandered in, it’s past midnight, and even the fact that I just earned a hundred and something thousand yen worth of overtime for sitting and listening most of the day can’t raise my spirits over the fact that I have to start a working week tomorrow. Ergo I choose to collapse on my futon.

Goodnight cyber-readers,

Shaun.

The Eternal Placeholder Post of Slackness.

2007-05-09T23:57:00.000+09:30

Contrary to popular belief, Shaun is NOT dead. He is NOT lying in a bathtub full of sand on a Tokyo balcony.

Actually I've just been insanely busy... mostly the fun kind of busy, but busy nonetheless.

I'm gonna delete this post soon and put up all my 'saved' blogs just as soon as I can format them, hopefully that'll be around tommorow... or it might be on the weekend, depending on my work/party schedule. Japan's tough that way. :P

Anyway, sorry about the crazy delay... getting on the net was harder than I thought.

Much love world!

Shaun

EDIT: I've put up about half of my archived entries... I'll try to get the rest up over the next few days, I have to go up to Fukuoka tomorrow for a conference but the rest of the story is coming ASAP I promise! Thanks again for writing everyone, I hope you'll all having much fun out there! :D

EDIT #2: Ok, so all my carefully scheduled plans to write, format and post everything I've so painstakingly catalogued are lying in ruins. Most of the problem stems from the fact that my weekdays are pretty busy and although I get the mornings off those of you who know me can attest to the fact that I'm hardly a 'morning person' in the classic sense, the truth is before noon I have trouble summoning enough neurons to make coffee, let alone format pictures and type witticisms. Compounding the problem is the fact that I've spent the last few weekends out of the apartment altogether; I have plenty of fodder for stories, and I try yo keep up with actually writing them all down, but I'm short on posting time. In any case thank you all again for visiting, commenting and generally being awesome. I really do appreciate it. More soon, truly. As some sort of minimal compensation I finally swapped a few things around in the lists on the left. Woo-frickin'-hoo.

Don Tak Who?

2007-05-04T19:40:00.000+09:30

Hiiiii! I’m back! Did you miss me?

Phew, well at least I don’t feel like I’ve been slacking or failing to make the most of my precious vacation days, I can now cross ‘visit Chikushino’ and ‘attend Dontaku festival’ off my giant corporeally nonexistent list of ‘things to do in Japan’.

It’s really cool to feel like a tourist again, and I cannot overstate the newfound pleasure I derive from a protracted period without a tie knot in close proximity to my throat. It was cool to see Cristis apartment, since I’ve been pretty curious about how my place measures up; I must say I’m pretty jealous of her bed, not that my futon is uncomfortable, but I’m kinda sick of having to roll up my bedding during the day like some sort of nomad. Being in Chikushino made me appreciate Sasebo all the more, unlike my town English speakers and signage are not exactly prevalent, still that’s a great excuse to learn Japanese and jump straight into ‘immersion therapy’… plus Fukuoka is only a 15 minute train ride away, so that’s pretty nice. We stayed up and watched Garden State which was nice and homey, and far more comprehensible than the Crazy Restaurant Gang Show which was the televised alternative.

Speaking of Fukuoka, Dontaku was a pretty spectacular… uhh… spectacle. Think giant street festival with a giant crowd, giant floats and lots of other giant things. There were lots of people in their kimono, plus the Dontaku ‘extra’ of hats constructed out of flowers; very pretty, although I can’t imagine where they found that many fresh flowers around here. Maybe they grow them in giant underground vats or import them from China; that seems to be where most organic stuff comes from around here.

The most generic Dontaku photo ever. Ladies with flower hats. I could have posted pictures of 'Ms. Fukuoka' in her revealing outfit, schoolgirl cheerleaders or the 'Transvestite wedding' float, but this is what you get. Feel free to flood my inbox with complaints.

We milled around Fukuoka for a while afterwards, soaking up the atmosphere and occasionally pausing to munch on carnival food, some of which was familiar, much of which was unrecognizable due to it being deep fried in a fabulously artery-clogging fashion. So much for all that amazingly healthy Japanese food; heart disease and obesity epidemic here I come! Hopefully walking several kilometers around the city will help me shed all those extra kilos. Meh… who am I kidding? I couldn’t get fat if I tried.

Even fictional pirates love Dontaku! I put my Dontaku mask on this disturbing effigy of Mr. Depp for this photo. The masks were worn by comedians to hide their identity from the fascist Japanese rulers of ages past, so I think the connection is quite fitting.

We missed Lauren, due to a unfortunate mix up regarding her phone number, hope ya had a great time anyway Lauren! Next time huh? I crashed out at Cristi’s place again, we took a short tour of Chikushino in the morning and grabbed lunch at a local restaurant (woo! I got to work on my impromptu sign-language skills some more) then I hauled myself back to Fukuoka and jumped on a bus back to Sasebo. It’s nice to be back in my own space, even if I did come back to a pile of dishes waiting to be done and a lack of milk in the fridge. Oh well, such is the ugly underside of my bachelor lifestyle.

Hmmm… people are big on maids here, I wonder if I could find one actually capable of doing domestic duties and without all the usual fetish connotations? Nah… probably not.

All the best world,

Shaun.

Monkey (or is it Kyushu?) Island.

2007-05-02T15:07:00.000+09:30

Ahhh… vacations, it doesn’t matter how old you get or what you do to procure sustenance in this crazy world, vacations still rock. Especially if they’re paid, and even moreso if you have some friends that are psyched to party.

You know what I was saying about having superpowers? Well it turns out that I do have amazing powers, at least of luck. I was out shopping when I walked past the train station and who should I bump into but Christi? She’d just come off the train and by some amazing stroke of serendipity I was walking past as she was standing outside the train station. Who needs the high tech wizardry of mobile phones (or indeed the low-tech wizardry of smoke signals) when you have impeccable timing and a ridiculous amount of luck?

Anyway, I took Cristi on the big tour of Sasebo (which wasn’t really that big since it involved two parks, a wharf, the shopping arcade and my apartment) we ate Mexican (Viva the nachos!) and then met up with Saori for a night of wanton indulgence in wine, food and TV; we watched three episodes of Queer Eye then switched to ‘High Fidelity’ (mostly because of my incessant heterosexual male whining). Great night though!

After emerging bleary-eyed from our futons the next morning we grabbed breakfast the window shopped for a goodly proportion of the day, I managed to convince Cristi to sample a Sasebo burger while the opportunity was evident, for a fairly petite girl she managed to wolf it down quite easily, props! We wandered around the market district for a while then went to a few 100 Yen stores (the same concept as ‘Cheap As Chips’) to prepare for Hannah’s pirate-themed birthday bash. Being somewhat cheap ‘preparation’ involved buying bandannas, although I splurged and bought a 100 Yen T-shirt and wrote ‘Arrrrr’ on it with a whiteboard marker.

We started off in Nimitz park with jelly-shots then moved up to Gela’s temporary domicile (which is a very nice house in the hilly suburbs of the city) for the majority of the night; again the craziness of the alcohol supply in this country astounds me, I walked into the lounge room and the first thing I laid eyes on was a 3 LITRE bottle of Smirnoff, the second was a 3 litre bottle of Jack Daniels, and after that a 5 litre box of sangria. I’m not even going to start on the ridiculous pile of beer and other assorted spirits scattered liberally around the place.

Anyway, enough about booze; let me tell you about the binge-drinking. We had about 18 people attend in all, and I got to meet a lot of interesting people; special mentions must go to Spencer from Canada for his fabulous piratanicalness and awesome wit (seriously, watch out Mr. Depp), Lauren from England who was kind enough to force many drinks upon me and drag me onto the tatami ‘dancefloor’ and Paco, a fine representative of the U.S. armed forces who gallantly stripped off his shirt and did the manly task of providing us all with substance from the barbeque. Kudos to you all!

Spencer, Hannah and Gela get piratanical; check out all that bootylicious booze! Just looking at it now makes my innards twitch uncomfortably.

We eventually wound up taking taxis back into Sasebo proper (mainly to avoid having the neighbors file charges of disturbing the peace against us) and continued on at another string of bars ending with the appropriately named ‘Treasure’ (which actually has a beach sand covered floor, how cool is that?) I made friends with an ancient Japanese man who taught me how to play crazy 8’s (or ‘baka hatchi’ as it’s known around here) even though he didn’t speak a word of English. It was 8AM by the time we staggered out into the sunlight and sensibly decided to call it quits; poor Lauren… she had to catch a bus back to Kuramoto at 12; still… such is life as an educator, and she’s a trooper.

This kindly old man taught me how to play cards, I gave him my 50 yen bandanna as a token of thanks; it suits him, don'tcha think?

Of course today was pretty much a write-off, consisting of obtaining food, minimum stamina expenditure and avoiding anything that makes loud noises. I feel pretty much fine by now though, it’s amazing what raman, water and sleep can do.

Tomorrow we’re going to go up and explore around Cristi’s place in Chikushino, then go back into central Fukuoka and meet Lauren (our Lauren) for the Dontaku festival, which I don’t have much idea about but am assured is quite a big deal around here. I’m just excited about being stared at by schoolgirls again.

Alright, time to go shove my gear into my newly-acquired Hello Kitty duffel bag. Back in a few days, stay happy alright?

Shaun.

A Week of Gold.

2007-04-29T14:17:00.000+09:30

Golden week! Golden week! We love Golden week!

It’s the first day of Golden week vacation today, and as you can likely tell; I’m fairly excited because I don’t have to go into work ever again… or at least for a whole week.

My first week of being a ‘real’ teacher has just flown by…’busy’ would be an understatement; there’s always something to do at the office and the schedule can get fairly hectic at times. Lesson planning has become a five minute matter rather than a half hour project but teaching back to back lessons for five or six hours is pretty draining. The students are always fun though, and it’s great being able to actually feel like you’re helping someone with something they care about. The best part is probably answering questions (‘which is a worse insult, pig or dog?’) and being able to teach stuff that’s tangential to the curriculum (yesterday I explained about fraternities, sonorities and ‘keggers’ to a student who's planning a stay in an American university).

The biggest challenge is probably the kids classes; while adults are well-behaved, with kids it's often quite difficult to make them do the activities as planned. I have a newfound respect for early childhood educators everywhere. So far the teaching points have been making it across, but I still never quite feel in control in the classroom, it’s more like I’m a lion-tamer than a teacher or something. I’m hoping it’s just a matter or practice, otherwise I’m heading to aneurysm-land.

Last night me, Saori and Hiroki celebrated by going out to an isakaia for some food and drinks; lotsa fun! Chihiro's running off to a hot spring for a week (a plan which I am exceedingly jealous of) and everyone else has plans to visit their families (Golden week seems to be kind of a Thanksgiving equivalent over here) so I'm gonna take the opportunity to explore a bit.

I'm not really alone though; I got a knock on the door last week from Gela and Hannah, two foreign teachers who also work in the neighbourhood, although I answered the door in my boxers (I had some misguided idea about an 'early night' or somesuch) they still agreed to take me out and show me the sights ('sights' in this case means 'bars'). We went down to the local watering hole called 'Playmates’ and began a fairly epic night out that ended sometime around 3.30 in the morning and spanned another 3 bars and a karaoke parlour. Both of them are a great source of advice about teaching and life in Japan and it was nice to take a bit of a tour of the town. Hannah lives right above me in my building too, so it’s good to know there’s a friendly face nearby, and her English accent is very charming.

Want to try something different? Some Japanese bars have this stuff, which we affectionately call 'Snake Juice'.

And this is me, Hannah and Gela indulging in aforementioned snake-infused liquor. Why are we smiling? Even I don't know.

I’ve still got to get some plans together for the holiday, lest I fall into a deathly abyss of sitting in my flat watching MTV and eating dry pasta for a week and a half straight. I’m still slightly crippled in the organization department by my lack of internet or cellular phone access, but I’m gonna try and catch up with Cristi and Lauren anyway… after all, how hard can it be? I’m GTS (Great Teacher Shaun) after all!

Golden week means celebrations, and no town celebrates like Sasebo! Because Sasebo celebrates with a giant inflatable hamster.

Ummm ok, I’m gonna go, I need to fold up my futon and vaccum. Grand plans indeed.

(GT) Shaun.

Welcome to the J-Pan...

2007-04-22T22:37:00.000+09:30

It’s the weekend (at least my weekend: Sunday and Monday) and I’m lazing around my flat recovering from my welcome party last night. Serious fun was had; after work everyone from the office and a bunch of students got together and we all went out to this all you can eat/drink buffet at a local swanky hotel. The food was great, we started off with beer but soon switched to cocktails (Saori used to be a bartender, so she’s awesome at making drinks). Afterwards one of our students took us all to karaoke- which was so totally fun and so hilarious that I still giggle to think about it; everyone has their preference for music, and while I got to hear a lot of cool Japanese songs my highlights were singing R.E.M. (What’s the Frequency, Kenneth?) Aimee Mann (Lost In Space), Daniel Powter (Bad Day, with Chihiro) Greenday (American Idiot, with Hiroki) and Simon and Garfunkel (Bridge Over Troubled Water, with everyone). We stayed out singing and drinking until 3AM. Total Awesomeness.

It's an unwritten law that in Japan every product, organisation, institution or thing composed of atomic matter needs a cute/bizarre mascot. This is the one for Sasebo city, illustrating the 'sailors and burgers' motif admirably.

I think I’m gonna go shopping today and maybe make some kind of effort to decorate my apartment, it’s looking pretty austere and I think it’d be nice to come home to a few posters and maybe a pot-plant or two… hmmm, I’ll have to think about interior decoration in between lesson planning. Shoot me your suggestions (bearing in mind that cheaper is better).

Still lost in Japan,

Shaun.

Finding Engrish over here is about as hard as finding sand on a beach. Todays dose is courtesy of a sweat top I bought at Jusco yesterday. It may be nonsensical, but its warm, and it was cheap.

My Flat, My Job and an End to Suitcase Living

2007-04-19T22:52:00.000+09:30

Here I am at the end of my second official day of work and I’m finally finding enough time and energy to crack out my laptop and get digital again. I’m typing this as I sit on the floor, with my laptop on top of the koatsu (one of those low tables with a built in heater) how Japanese is that? Actually this might be a short entry since I don’t have a cushion yet and the floor is hard, but I still feel pretty damn cool.

My apartment building. 100% genuine (possibly) earthquake proof concrete.

Sasebo is really nice and pretty; unlike Fukuoka you can actually find patches of grass here, and I can see some wooded mountains from one of my apartment windows. I can’t wait to go exploring more, but right now I’ve been limited to walking the route between here and work (which happens to be practically the length of Japans longest enclosed shopping mall; it takes about 10 minutes, and really it doesn’t seem that long). There’s an awesome Mexican restaurant across the street too, so I won’t be missing out on nachos, woo!

Sun Plaza: Japan's longest mall, where you can buy whatever kind of generic fast food you want. Yay. See the Jusco? That's where I (try to) shop for food.

The staff at the school are all really awesome and great; my manager Saori took me down to the government offices to get my alien registration card today, so we had some time to swap stories; she’s really cool and nice, plus she seems really cheerful, which gives the office a good atmosphere. I finally got to meet the rest of the staff in person too; I’m kinda wary of saying too much, since this is the internet and people still deserve some shreds of privacy y’know; but Hiroki (our headteacher) Chihiro (my fellow teacher who mostly deals with kids) and Takaho (the part time kids teacher) all seem really nice, and I’m grateful that I get to work with such cool people. It’s a small team (in fact the smallest in the entire AEON chain) but that’s nice in its own way since we can work pretty tightly.

Mostly I’ve been following the lead of Chad, the Emergency Teacher who’s been working in the school for the past month. He’s a total pro and has given me a lot of really great advice, there’s still a lot to learn but I feel like I just might be able to get a handle on the ‘real’ job soon. I’m still vaguely terrified at the prospect of teaching children, but I’m hoping that will fade in the face of actual experience.

I haven’t had much of a chance to explore the city itself, but moving into my apartment has been great; It’s been really great to unpack my suitcases and settle down. The place is larger than I expected, and while I still need to get a few things, it’s mostly pretty decked out. I’ve inherited a 62cm flatscreen TV, and although the only thing I can understand with certainty is CNN, it came with a Playstation 1, so I can at least play CDs. I’ll have to wait until my Japanese is infinitely better before I can play the copy of Final Fantasy that came with it though. Sleeping on a futon every night seems a little strange, but I’m sure I’ll get used to it soon enough, likewise with the whole ‘changing into slippers when you walk in the door’ thing and sitting down on the floor instead of a chair; I’m still more bemused than culture shocked- it feels weird to actually be doing all those ‘quirky’ things I’ve seen in movies and anime. I’m having fun though, it’s nice to have a seismic shift in lifestyle, and I feel like I’m learning a lot by being here.

Motochima-cho, the main street of Sasebo; not exactly an urban-jungle. But I like the small-town charm of the place.

Now I’m going to go and sort my trash (‘cause if I don’t no-one will take it). Afterwards maybe I’ll take another shot at figuring out which dial does what on my washing machine; does anyone know what the kanji for ‘spin’?

Shaun-sensei.

I am sensei, hear me snor... uh, roar.

2007-04-17T21:31:00.000+09:30

It was our last day of training today! There was lots of ‘Yay!’ a little bit of ‘Awww!’ and I heard “gambatte!” (which means ‘do your best’, and is interjected into conversation with regularity) more times than I care to remember.

Mostly we’re focusing on the ‘Yay!’ since we’re all totally excited about finally being able to stop living out of suitcases and settle down into our apartments. Personally I’m totally itching to finally get down to Sasebo and see what the place is like in person after reading and hearing about it for so long. I’m looking forward to getting some of the basics of my high-tech, information dependant and horrendously decadent life back; lack of stuff like a cell-phone, broadband connection and a set of speakers so my mp3’s sound decent is starting to grate; and I’m totally looking forward to getting back in contact with the rest of the world! (That means actually posting this stuff instead of just writing it out in Word)

Me with the AEON kids mascot (I forget, but I think he's called 'Muffy'). I love the fact that he has fangs... I can just imagine Buffy kicking his arse.

Anyway, we did our last round of information cramming today, nothing too strenuous, just some pre-school stuff (I don’t have any pre-school lessons anyway, which I’ve decided is cool… if only because it’s one less set of structures and materials I have to memorise). The Honbucho (regional manager) took us all out to lunch at a very nice Italian restaurant, which was very nice… we were all a little stressed, because, well, she’s the regional manager of this giant company we work for, but actually she was really nice and just asked a lot of questions about us all; it made meeting her for our ‘graduation ceremony’ a fair bit less scary too. Basically she just pinned our AEON badges on us, told us we were great and to ‘gambatte!’ then sent us out into the big scary world of teaching. Yaaay! We’re all officially *name*-sensei now!

The AEON class of April, 2007; (from left) Me, Lauren, Gerry (our training guru) and Christi. Don't we all look ever so spiffy?

We celebrated in the time honoured fashion of eating ramen, wandering the streets for a while, then walking into a pub. The fact that we had to be up, packed, dressed in formal attire and checked out by 10AM meant that the night wasn’t too wild, but it was a lot of fun nonetheless. Even though I know I’ll see them around soon I’ll really miss having Cristina and Lauren around, there’s nothing like having friends around to take the edge off the culture shock.

Right, I’m gonna sign off because I have the (aforementioned) early start and full day of (watching) teaching tomorrow. Wish me luck.

Gambatte!

Practice makes perfect...

2007-04-14T20:27:00.000+09:30

Training, training, training; I’m pretty much into the rhythm of things now, the city streets are becoming familiar and I’m into the swing of how things work, getting intermittently stared at by strangers is still a little disconcerting, but even that is starting to feel like just a ‘part of life’, it’s not menacing after all, just curiosity. Being an ethnic minority is still kinda novel and fun, I can see how it could get on your nerves after a while though.

Practice lessons are running smoothly now to the extent that I was comfy today ‘mixing it up’ by teaching the students how to say “he’s a bit of a prat” in my class on ‘describing people’. The students are really fun to work with, they’re enthusiastic and just soak up whatever you give them to learn. It’s great to just chat with them in the lobby and hear them open up about their lives. The classes are really diverse too; two days ago I had a club DJ and yesterday a civil servant.

Mostly life for us is still divided between training, food shopping and sleeping, but on Thursday we managed to get out and hit a bar with Kelly (the teacher who Lauren is replacing) she had a lot of great advice about the job, the company and the country so that was excellent. I continue to be amazed / appalled by the price of alcohol, I asked for a scotch on the rocks and the barman poured a third of the bottle into my glass and charged me 500 yen (about $5) schooners of beer cost 100 yen, how this country maintains any order on weekends is a serious mystery.

This one's for my dad, it's a Fukuoka telegraph pole; it looks messy to me, but maybe it's a work of engineering genius... it doesn't look very earthquake-safe though, right?

Other wackiness includes:

- Being ‘forced’ into having my photo taken with a child and someone dressed as sonic the hedgehog. Why the childs mother wanted me in the photo is beyond me.

- Having to explain what a ‘caravel’ was to a businessman in-between classes, it turns out he reads history textbooks in English as a hobby. Hmmm… strange, but at least it's a hobby that doesn’t involve schoolgirls I suppose.

- Meeting Yorn, the drunk Swedish student who wanted to know ‘where the cool parties where’… I didn’t know, but by the looks of him he’d already been to a few ‘cool parties’ that night.

- Going down a side street and seeing a group of Japanese kids dressed in full-on ‘streetwear’ (like puff-jackets, backwards baseball caps and insanely baggy jeans) having what I can only assume was a ‘rap battle’ while their friends breakdanced in the street.

Today was a half day so I got to wander, I window shopped for a while then went down to the Fukuoka museum of Asian Art in the afternoon… it was about 80% Indian works, with the rest from Thailand (I guess the other nations of Asia will have to wait for representation) but very interesting. Bollywood posters are great!

Tomorrow we all have the day off, so we’re going to meet in the morning and try to plan another excursion. So much to do… no time to sleep.

Much Fukulove,

Shaun.

Still on the Train(ing)

2007-04-11T21:38:00.000+09:30

Training is intense; there’s so much stuff to learn and it all seems to be compacted into a tiny space of time: interviewing, lesson structure and teaching techniques, Business management, time management, corporate structures… it’s all interesting in its own way, but keeping up with the flow of information can be daunting at times. I guess I’ll just have to trust the manual which claims ‘everything will become second nature after a short while’.

We had our first ‘live-fire’ teaching practice today (that means we got to work with real Japanese students… ones that didn’t have to pay for the lesson). It mostly went well, although there are still some wrinkles to be smoothed out; I need to cut down on my ‘verbal static’ and learn to let the students take over more often, but overall the technique is there. I swear, this job will be the best public-speaking training exercise ever; challenges abound, but its nice to stand in front of a group of people who want to learn, and watch their eyes light up when they get something right. If I was half as motivated about learning Japanese as they are about mastering English then I’d probably be bi-lingual in no time at all.

Ok! It's Engrish! (or NESglish if you prefer) I wasn't brave enough to actually enter this establishment, but I'm still curious about the burger menu.

While my Japanese is still fairly shoddy (although I’ve learnt a new phrase every day) I’m slowly starting to culturally adapt; I don’t stop to stare at the individually shrink-wrapped bananas in the supermarket anymore, I’m getting accustomed to canned vending-machine coffee (endorsed by Tommy-Lee Jones!) and I’ve developed seriously awesome chopstick skills (one step away from Mr. Muyage, I swear!) Food is still fascinating; I had deep-fried pieces of cheese in broth today for lunch, yesterday I had tofu-ramen, as slurped (with gusto) by salarymen nation-wide. Big culinary horizon-broadening, yay!

2007-04-10T22:01:00.000+09:30

Hi again!

I can`t stay long, because I`m on another insane time limit at the internet cafe, but Fukuoka is really amazing, and I`m having a lot of fun!

Sorry to anyone who`s tried to phone... Telstra propoganga was wrong, and my phone doesn`t work... groan, save those stories people! I`ll be back in communication soon!

I`ll edit this later, and tell you all about my amazing training adventures (I`m typing them out on my laptop to post later) but right now I`ve gotta go!

Much love,

Shaun.

Training and Tourism

2007-04-08T21:58:00.000+09:30

Happy weekend everyone!

The first (half) day of training flew by so fast it was scary; we basically just had an overview of our training process, got to watch Gerry teach a class, then we went out to lunch (in a ‘traditional’ Japanese restaurant) took a slightly extended tour of the downtown Fukuoka area hitting all the landmarks (I got to see the ACROS building! If you’ve ever seen a piece of anime called ‘Excel Saga’ you’ll be excited about that). Afterwards we got cut loose so we explored some more on our own (this time with less exhaustion and Lauren’s extra direction sense we managed to avoid getting lost). We wound up eating fusion ‘Japanese-style Italian’ (which means my pasta had little frankfurters in it) then we went and hit the ‘international rainbow bar’ (no, it’s *not* a gay bar, so stop sniggering). We got a bottle of sake-type stuff (it wasn’t sake but it tasted like drain-cleaner anyway) and chatting the whole night away. Lauren and Cristi are really great, even if my strange Australian/British English does befuddle them sometimes; it makes a huge difference to have people you can talk with about everything you’re experiencing, and training is a lot more fun with other people.

Fukuoka landmark the ACROS building, complete with Babylonian architecture.

Today we went down to the train station and jumped on a train (two actually) to Dazaifu (da-zie-fu) the ‘old capital’ of Kyushu province and now cultural capital of the area; the main shopping street is a really pretty cobbled mall ending at the famous Tenmangu Shrine, dedicated to Michizane Sugawara, ‘the God of Literature’; lots of students were there praying for luck with their school work (sheesh, I hope it works, I’d be too scared to stop studying for the hours it takes to stand in line and pray if I were a Japanese student), the grounds are really beautiful, although the fact that the temple complex borders an amusement park did seem kinda strange.

Tenmangu Shrine: well-funded thanks to hordes of examinees.

Afterwards we took a walk along a walking trail down to the Kyushu National Museum. It’s a myth that Japan is all urban sprawl, some areas are quite quiet and heavily forested, there was even a sign on the trail to watch out for snakes! (I’m sick of these motherf*^king snakes in this motherf%$king shrine!) It was really nice to get out of the city for a while though, and we got to see our first sakura (cherry blossom)! That was kinda a magical moment.

The museum itself was also really spectacular, we had a lovely young lady walk us through the process of getting tickets and audio guides, and then we wandered through the building (which is really, really huge) needless to say Japan has a LOT of history, we stayed for about 4 hours and didn’t even cover half of it. Still, that’s a good excuse to go back I guess. I had a very tasty cinnamon waffle and Lauren got some socks too, so that was nice. And functional. Or something.

So now we just got back, did some shopping in Daiei (the local supermarket, kinda a Woolworths/Tesco equivalent) and then came back for some much needed kip. Tomorrow we start training proper, excitement is running high!

Many good wishes,

Shaun.

Fukawhatta?

2007-04-06T22:25:00.000+09:30

I've just staggered into the hotel and I’m pretty wiped (in fact the room is getting a little spinny as I type this) but I'd like to get a few words down at least before I lapse into the sweet embrace of unconsciousness. It's been a seriously stimulating day, but believe me, rarely has a bed (complete with neatly folded sleeping garb) seemed so appealing.

The flight was as dull as flights usually are, it didn't help that I was fairly solidly pumped full of nervous energy and I have a chronic inability to say 'no' when offered coffee refills by flight attendants. Still, it meant I was awake to make the most of the movies on offer, I saw 'Flags of Our Fathers' (good), 'The Queen' (really good), 'Babel' (maybe kinda ok, but a bit silly) and 'Rocky Balboa' (really, really silly). I'm still not really sure what the movie situation will be, or whether I'll even be able to find anything in English that I didn't bring with me, but I'm guessing that I won't be visiting a movie theater anytime soon.

My experience at the airport was great; I met a really nice guy called Robert who works for the Daily Express, and reassured me that I’d love the country and wouldn’t have any problems (he’s been there for 20 years, still doesn’t know any appreciable Japanese and has no trouble making his way through life) he also pointed me in the right direction to transfer which was fantastic.

Tokyo, Narita International airport, note it's similarity to every airport ever.

One thing I learned fairly quickly is that people in public service are incredibly (even overwhelmingly and embarrassingly) helpful and friendly. After I checked in I wandered over to find the security gate so I’d know where to go (5 hours) later, the lady at the ANA check-in counter saw the direction I was walking and managed to have a member of the security staff (complete with drug-sniffing Labrador) fire-up the security checkpoint just for me. After that I couldn’t really say ‘no’ to being checked through, so I just wandered through to the lounge (I did get to talk to the security lady and pat her dog, which was called ‘Sumo’ though).

The instructions for how to use the toilets at the airport; I pushed every button once with hideous results.

When I got to Fukuoka I met Gerry, the local area trainer and one of my fellow trainees Cristina (who has swapped sunny San Francisco, California for southern Japan) We piled on the subway and took a ride into the city centre which gave us a chance to talk some, both of them are really nice and enthusiastic; big props to Christi especially for her valiant jet-lag fighting efforts, since she'd not only been on a flight from the U.S. West coast but had been sitting in the airport for a while.

After the nightmare of getting my cases into the hotel (there was literal blood and sweat and very nearly tears) Gerry took us on a brief tour of the immediate area, focusing on necessities like supermarkets, Internet cafes and karaoke parlors. Despite the temptation to just crash, Christi and I swung back by the hotel, showered off the detritus of international travel and changed into fresh garments and then went exploring.

Fukuoka was actually quite a surprise to me, it's not quite the jam packed neon metropolis that Tokyo appears to be; it's a pretty busy place, but it's not like you're shoulder to shoulder as you walk; I even managed to get a seat on the subway. The buildings are pretty high-rise (especially by Adelaide standards) and the city certainly has a different 'vibe' than anywhere else that I've visited, but it's not an intimidating place, just different (and often seemingly a little bizarre).

Tenjin, Fukuoka: pre-godzilla.

Anyway, we wandered through the city, chatting and occasionally pausing to marvel at things that will no doubt be totally passé by next week: vending machines selling beer, ‘parking lots’ where your car is ‘filed’ in vertical storage, politicians driving down the street in vans (filled with loudspeakers and young ladies) frantically waving as they go, pachinko dens blaring horribly garish music into the street… and a ton of other stuff I’ll save for another time.

Anyway, it was a great start to life in Japan because I found 1000 yen on the street! Not so great was the fact that we got lost and had to get a cab back to the hotel (there goes 590 yen). Still, lotsa fun! I got to meet the last member of our training group, Lauren (all the way from Denver, Colorado) for about 2 minutes tonight too… she too seems like a lovely, happy lady. I’m sure we’ll all work well together, or at least ‘bond under fire’ or something.

And now I’m gonna go and finally get some well deserved rest… I’ve got day one of teacher-school tomorrow! Miss me yet?

2007-04-06T08:27:00.000+09:30

Ok, so finding an internet connection wasn't as hard as I thought. I've been in the country 15 whole minutes, and now I'm sitting in an internet kiosk in Narita airport.

15 minutes. In that time I have:

- Bought a can of cold coffee out of a vending machine (at least I think it's coffee, it says 'Aroma Drip Blend' on the can, which sounds coffee-esque; the rest is in Japanese)

- Seen a harigushu girl - she had pink dreadlocks, panda-like eye makeup and trousers that were uhh... indescribable.

- Seen a crazy commercial. It was on a TV in the louge, and featured a man bashing a fairy with feather duster while screaming.

- Deciphered a Japanese payphone. Which is waaaaaaaay harder than it sounds.

- Put 5 yen in the Airport suggestion box... because "the legend of this suggestion box says..." :P

That's about it for now... I'm still coping which is a good sign... now on to Fukuoka and more craziness! I promise pictures when I have a USB connection but bye for now! My time is up!

Day of Flight.

2007-04-05T14:35:00.000+09:30

four hours until I fly, and the surrealism of this whole adventure is rapidly fading into concrete reality. I'm packed, my teeth are gritted and my resolve is set:

"I will go to Japan and teach the hell out of my native language."

The terror is still there in the background, but I'm offsetting it by keeping busy (why do you think there's been a new entry every two days this week?) I'm kinda dreading the actual flight because it's essentially one long 'chance to think', but hopefully in-flight movies, magazines and my shiny new mp3 playlist should keep me from over-analysing things long enough to get on the ground again.

The night before last I said my final goodbyes to my friends from uni who I am indebted to for their bold efforts to shore up my sanity and spirits during the more 'Lovecraftian' times at good-ol' Adelaide University. No crying on my part (thank Vishnu), but most sad nontheless, ah well I'm sure they'll just hold some sort of Bring It On-esque audition process and replace me soon enough. Mandy made a last-ditch attempt to shore up my language skills with a copy of the Lonely Planet Japanese Phrasebook (in which she helpfully highlighted the smutty phrases) Now I can find how to say "Do you want a massage?", "You're just using me for sex" or "Are you menstruating?" faster than ever! Thanks Mandy!

Juanita went the 'cultural education' road instead with Tabloid Tokyo which is indescribably hilarious . Seriously, it has to be read to be believed; stories of Salarymen working so much overtime they have to sleep at the office every night, cafe's with panty-less waitresses moving drinks across mirrored floors and mothers who are willing to commit incest with their children to 'improve their concentration' abound. I speed-read through the whole thing in one night and only stopped laughing when my jaw was distended... Many thanks! She gets bonus points for the haiku in the cover too (which is far more elegant than my effort in this entry)

Last night I went out for dinner with my parents then came home to start cramming stuff in suitcases; I haven't even left and I already miss them and the dogs pretty terribly. I know we live in an age of real-time video-communication, but what if I need a hug? I guess this is no worse than leaving home in any other way, but hey, I'm still a little wigged.

Ok, time to go get on a plane and do this thing; I don't know when I'll be able to write again, it's kinda dependant on when I have time and access to an internet connection. In the meantime, remember my phone still works (but watch out for those international charges if you actually call... texting is way more economical).

To end, a haiku:

Today I fly up
With much sorrow for friends
Your writing brings joy

Translations For the Lost.

2007-04-03T12:34:00.000+09:30

2 days 'til I fly, fly away to this mystical land called 'Japan' where I'm told I'm sure to be amazed, get married, 'experience an engaging blend of old and new' (I stole that from the AEON website), and binge drink. Excited? Yeah. Kinda terrified beyond belief? Ummm... lotsa yeah.

Anyway, I've managed to fight off the mind-numbing fear enough to actually get ready, I've gotta go get a haircut, pack a bit more, go out for dinner with my family one last time this year and choose an outfit to wear on my jet-plane odyssey. *gulp* Here's hoping I can actually calm down enough to actually sleep and stop manically trying to memorise my entire phrasebook before then.

I had an (off-line) request the other day to explain the headings of the page-elements on the left; yes, they're all in Japanese (or at least romaji) because we all know that using a foreign language to write artsy/obvious things makes your site 47% cooler, right?

- 'Mihari Kaki Dokei' means 'watching the clock' (y'know, like you used to/do in class) kinda appropriate huh? 'Cause that's obviously what you're doing if you're looking there.

- 'Kikan Onden Na' is 'temperate period', which is more hopeful than predictive; I'm hoping that after a week of seeing a perpetual 'storm cloud' on the forecast the irony of the caption might raise a smile.

- 'Shaun's Soramimi' can be translated as 'Shaun's ears playing tricks' or 'Shaun's misheard lyrics' depending on your preference. Anyway, it illustrates my constantly changing playlist nicely, as well as acting as another Azumanga Daioh reference (the theme song to the anime being the infectiously boppy Soramimi Cake)

- 'Sukina Toshokan Desu' means 'my library of favourites', quite simple really.

- 'Mugen Chishiki Kai' translates as 'endless sea of knowledge' which is the sort of laughably optimistic view of the internet that hasn't prevailed since it was still being used to fight the Cold War. 'Mugen Hentai Kai' (endless sea of perversion) might be more appropriate, but since I'm not linking porn I'll stick with what I've got.

- 'Shima Hanashi' means 'island talk' (it can also mean 'stripe conversation', but let's ignore that) Japan is an island (a chain of them actually), I am talking... witness my awesome logic!

- 'Ningen Yoso' is 'human factor', because what would a blog be without a blogger? Another ghost-blog is what!

And finally, the title; most people know that 'Kanji' are the Chinese characters used in the Japanese writing system, but did you also know that the word can mean 'feeling', 'perception' or 'impression'? Any of which placed before 'For Beginners' sounds very avant-garde (or perhaps just massively pretentious). Duality of meaning! Subtext! Maybe all those thousands of dollars spent on that English major weren't wasted after all!

Ok, explanation over; there are now offically no more mysteries to reveal and we can all move along; travel safe!

Postcards = Reassurance, Murder = De-assurance.

2007-04-01T10:42:00.000+09:30

Ok, I know this is a couple of days old but I'm still kinda totally wigged out by this.

Seriously, this is not what I want to hear five days before getting on a plane to Tokyo. At the same time it does help to validate all that company policy about not dating students (although my train of thought never ran as far as expecting to end up dumped in a freakin' sand-filled bathtub as a consequence).

I got a lot of fun mail today, all the staff at the school at Sasebo sent me postcards, saying how they were looking forward to meeting me. This is so cute that it defies words; I particularly liked the one by my manager Saori who writes: "I know very well around city and good bars :D" Ummm... smells like binge drinking to me! I also found out that I'm the only 'native' English-speaker at the school which means that I'll pretty much get dumped in the deep end as far as work-related responsibilities go... responsibility is cool, right? *nervous smile*

Also in the mail (about four years late!) Was my invitation/application to join the 'Golden Key' society; I must have done better in that Honours year than I thought, and so now I can join the ranks of seemingly every arts student ever. Seriously, I have a bunch of friends I've known since first year and every single one of them (at least the ones who didn't take the same brutally marked first year history course as me) has a membership. Still, I don't really care about being 'elite', I just want the same certificate, lapel pin and inbox spam that everyone else has.

Beauty and the Beast was very cool, especially considering the challange faced by adapting an animated movie (yes it was that version) into a stage production. Good performances all round, singable music and no one fluffed their lines, nice job all!

Time for me to go and say more goodbyes, write more lists and *gasp* even start packing. Be good world!

Try This at Home.

2007-03-31T13:25:00.000+09:30

Leaving your home for an extended period is an experience that produces many demands; the amount of paperwork required to obtain permission to live and work outside your country is often dauntingly large, I burnt out 2 pens filling out forms in triplicate for AEON and working my way through the visa application process. Packing is another mini-nightmare as you try to condense your life to fit airline baggage-limits, 27kg seems a little restrictive considering the amount of 'mandatory' gear (like suits) that's dictated by the company. Thank god I live in an age when so much can be condensed into digital files, not that an mp3 library can really compare with a CD collection, and reading text off a screen doesn't have the visceral charms of holding a book, but at least I'm not flying into a complete void.

One of the not so harsh parts of leaving is the opportunity/obligation of seeing everyone to say goodbye, preferably with as much 'party' attached to the experience as possible. The last few days of my life have been devoted to getting as much 'party' time in as possible. The stories are many, a select sampling:

- Meeting Kombei, one of the supervising teachers for the class of Japanese exchange students who are currently visiting my old high-school. We traded many notes on beer and he taught me a lot about Japanese drinking culture and etiquette. He also said that teaching English is 'really easy', which makes the terror subside ever so slightly.

- Pete using his and Matt's awesome home theatre setup to play ancient games using a NES emulator on his computer. '1943' and 'Guerilla Warfare' are only improved by making their giant pixellated visages many meters across. Truely the ultimate fusion of state of the art and retro.

- Jamie managing to obtain for me a genuine shopping trolley, something I have coveted for a significant period of time. I only regret that I won't have time to use it as a chariot with which to commute to pubs. Still, I'm sure that Pete and Matt will give it a good home, and now they have somewhere to store their ridiculously enormous cache of empty glassware. Many thanks again!

- Walking into unibar to be confronted with a sea of engineers all dressed in green with headbands as part of their 'Binja Turtles' pubcrawl; another one of those things that's a little tough to visulize; so here's a photo:

Aren't they precious?

- Dancing with Kristy to New York, New York (if you can call our vague twirling and swaying 'dancing') it's amazing what you can do after 15 jugs or so of the foamy stuff!

- Hanging out with the workcover crew and having all my questions about GST, birthday cakes and fiscal management answered. They make a great pizza too! Watching Pete throw up out of the taxi door wasn't so fantastic (although we had a great taxi driver, he just pulled over and said 'it's ok'. I even got to meet Leo (Pete's turtle) the next morning; he's major cute!

I pretty much have everything I need all ready, now it's just a matter of packing it all; I had a lot of fun trawling through those 'Australiania' shops looking for gifts to take over, check out my fantastic future office-mascot:

He/She doesn't have a name yet... suggestions gratefully received!

I went to my doctor for a checkup before I left, I got proded, listened and peered into and was pronounced fit to travel. Then I got a very serious lecture about the dangers of binge-drinking and using alcohol as a 'way to fit into a new environment'. Heh, at least I can be confident that my university did it's best to prepare me for that hazard. I promised to only buy vending-machine beer for the novelty value and not to actually drink any.

Tonight I'm off to see my old high school's production of Beauty and the Beast then I'm heartily looking forward to a complete 8 hours (minimum) sleep in my own bed, preferably without any alcohol to 'help' with the process.

Party on world. Just make sure to switch to coffee every once in a while.

Novocaine, Bowling and Changing Clocks.

2007-03-25T14:30:00.000+09:30

Happy end of daylight saving everyone! (or at least those of you who are S.A. residents) I'm not sure that an 'extra' hour in bed really makes up for the hassle of changing all the clocks and smoke alarm batteries in the house, but hey; at least it gives us a chance to reset all our timepieces to the correct time and make sure that our smoke alarms are actually working right? After all, we all know that the rules of irony dictate that a house with a working smoke alarm will likely never catch fire.

Speaking of preparedness, my trip to the dentist was routinely scary; everything was fine until there was a spontaneous decision to update my x-rays (just in case my skeletonised jawbone washes up on a shoreline and needs to be identified presumably), at which point it was declared that I needed a filling replaced. Cue injectons, scraping, drilling and a whole bunch of strange Geiger-esque equipment jammed in my mouth; an experience much like this.

Afterwards I went into town to see Emma (who has her own far more substantive blog here, check it out!), drink coffee and get more travel stuff planned; that all went well despite my Novocaine-induced Bells-palsy look (actually it was a help with the coffee, having a numb tongue means you can drink scalding hot water without the pain). While it turns out that exchanging paper money isn't half the hassle I'd be led to believe, unfortunately QANTAS only lets you haul 20kg of luggage when you fly to Japan, so I've got some serious boxing and shipping to organise, unless of course I wear 8 layers of clothes on the flight itself (which might make me immune to snake-bite at least).

Yesterday my jaw still hurt somewhat so I made the decision to have a 'quiet' day, I finished unpacking some shirts, fiddled around with the laptop a bit and finished watching Texhnolyze (frankly, I still don't get it, but it was fun to watch and very 'relaxing'). In the evening I went out bowling down at Ingle Farm; I found out that years of non-practice hasn't improved my bowling technique, but there was much fun anyway, even if Rebecca did blow us all out of the water (the girl has bowling in the genes obviously). Peter managed to get the jukebox to play every Mandy Moore song it had in sequence, then followed it up later with Vanilla Ice which was pretty sodding hilarious. Great night!

Today I'm resolving to tidy up somewhat around here, 'cause I'm getting just slightly sick of living amongst giant, constantly tottering piles of paper, (I had this seriously weird dream last night about pushing a filing cabinet through one of those aquariums that have the giant glass tunnels so you can see all the sharks up close and personal; I think it's a sign). That and I'll get back to learning some Japanese because my progress has lagged just a little lately; more hours in my day might help, but hey, I'd probably end up sleeping them away too. *sigh*

Bring the Noise!

2007-03-21T00:37:00.000+10:30

The fantasticness continues to amount; the Freaks and Geeks marathon continues, and now I'm down to the last three episodes- Yike! Hopefully the end of the series will purge the insane desire to listen to 70's music from my brain; it's kinda affecting my self-image.

I went down to town for some nosh and movie action, Peter and Juanita joined me in viewing Hot Fuzz which I'm glad to report is totally rockin' and most funny. It didn't quite beat out Shaun of the Dead in my opinion (not that I'm biased or anything), but the Spaced boys are still on the top of the Brit-com game. We also got to see the awesome trailer for Die Hard 4.0 (which apparently involves the still follicle-challenged Bruce Willis saving the world from computer viruses or the Y2K bug or somethin') and the not-so-awesome looking trailer for Transformers (ack! Can't the memory of those gimmicky toys just die in peace?)

In not so awesome news I booked in at the dentist for this Friday, which is probably a smart thing to do pre-travel, but also makes me tremble slightly and produces a metallic taste at the back of my mouth when I think of visiting. I need to get myself in for a haircut sometime soon too, not that I don't like my proto-'fro, but it's pretty high maintenance, and I'd rather not have to worry about seeking out commercial quantities of anti-frizz shampoo in another country. Anyway, I can still take suggestions in terms of colours, in another stroke of irony AEON allows employees to sport electric-blue hair- just as long as it's neat, clean and not accompanied by a daffy-duck tie.

Ok... bedtime, something I probably should have done a while ago, but guzzling movie-sized quantities of diet-cola seems about equivalent to putting a thermos of coffee into your system. One day I'll quit caffeine for good: probably about the same time as someone finishes reading a touching eulogy over my Nescafe-sponsored tombstone.

My Media Circus.

2007-03-19T21:25:00.000+10:30

It's been kinda crazy for a few days now; last week seemed like this non-stop party, which was cool but has kinda left me a little drained; there's only so many late-nights, caffeine-powered days and alcohol-soaked nights you can take in a row before you start feeling like a proverbial overused dishcloth. Added to the fact that organising international travel is something of a stress-test in itself and I think I can be forgiven for being a little quieter with limper eyebrows than usual.

In good news, my visa actually came through, which means than despite all the bureaucratic craziness the Japanese government is actually willing to let me act as a tiny cog in their highly regimented and quite possibly dangerous economic machine. Anyway, that's the last hurdle made out of paperwork... so I guess I really am going to do this. Dear. God.

At least I'll be well prepared; I went shopping with my dad the other day down at Officeworks, and picked up a few shopping bags full of tech-gear (seriously, it feels like I've got enough stuff to build my own version of Land Warrior here). That means I can take, store and send all sorts of cool media all around the world! It's pretty cool... check this out:

Buffy is fighting Cthulhu on the island of Ry'leth! (here represented by the wasteland of my floor). I hope all my photos are just as awesome. Plus the webcam came through, so now I can show the world my shoebox/apartment in glorious real-time hi-def! All this and the nice people at the store finally signed us up to that 'Flybuys' thing that the people in the supermarket keep hassling us about, which means my parents can get a free airfare to visit me! (Providing they spend $2,000,000 at Coles in the next 12 months).

I've been going crazy with the DVD's lately too in this mad-rush to finish all the shows I have on my somewhat ridiculously long 'to-watch' list. I finished off Witch Hunter Robin the other night but I've still got to work through Texhnolyze in the next week. Compounding the situation my friend Juanita lent me her Freaks and Geeks boxset the other day, and unfortunately it's as cool as all the rumors suggest, meaning it's taken over my life to a disturbing extent... so many quotes to memorise, so little time... I like to think of it as 'cramming' before I find myself unable to comprehend what's happening on my TV set.

Ok, time to go... hardware drivers don't get installed and DVD's don't get watched all by themselves y'know...

Adelaide Cup: Public Holiday or Den of Inequity?

2007-03-12T21:06:00.000+10:30

Long-live long weekends!

It's Adelaide cup day today. Seeing as by a serendipitous twist of fate I happen to be residing in Adelaide that means that everyone who's not involved in some sort of socially invaluable occupation (like doctors, firefighters, the police, bookies and liquor-store proprietors) gets a day off. Ostensibly this allows them to watch/gamble upon the horse race for which the day is named, in reality it's more commonly an opportunity for barbeque's, catching up on home-maintenance or just extending the usual weekend alcho-bender by an extra day.

For me of course the holiday is fairly meaningless; I'm not really much for horse-racing, and aside from the fact that retail stores all take a brief hiatus there's not really much to praise or denigrate. I stopped in on Pete, Matt and Nina to see how they were all goin' (answer: pretty good) which was cool, 'cause it kinda made the day feel more like a holiday.

Time continues to tick while I look towards Japan on the horizon; these days it doesn't seem like there's much to do besides prepare to go over there; My dad picked up a refurbished laptop from my old high school the other day, so I've been busy loading all the necessary software (read: games and music). With luck I'll get a web-cam up and running, so you might be able to continue to see my smiling face in all it's 2D glory! Yay! (?)

I got yet another 'reminder' e-mail from AEON today too, reiterating several of their more important policies- the main points are:
- FORMAL WEAR IS GOOD!
Yup; you can't wear jeans and a singlet to work. In fact you can't even wear a tie with a cartoon character on it. This may be a problem as years of a wearing a formal school uniform have left me with a near pathological aversion to formal wear. Hopefully my plan to watch many seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and zero in on Giles as an 'icon of style' will help my sense of self-esteem regarding the wardrobe.

- BRING MONEY!!
Japan is a very 'ordered' society; this means you don't get paid until you work for a whole month. Unfortunately Japanese landlords expect to get paid on 'rent-day' (none of this 'the cheque is the mail' crap). This means that lack of ready cash may result in becoming destitute, which in turn leads to deportation. Is there no problem that can't be solved with a large wad of yen?

- DON'T DO DRUGS!!!
Because frankly the country has more in common with Iran than Holland when it comes to narcotics control laws; seriously, the list of products classed as 'restricted stimulants' includes Vicks Inhalers and Sudafed (along with anything else that contains a sniff of Codeine) and getting caught with a joint carries the same 20-year prison term as hauling a key of cocaine. A bunch of NOVA teachers found this out the hard way last month.

Right: plain tie, bunch of cash, lack of (illicit) drug habit. Rising Sun here I come!

Birthdays and the Sin of Gluttony.

2007-03-08T23:32:00.000+10:30

It was Nick's birthday today, accordingly we trotted down to Pizza Hut for an all-you-can-eat pizza-themed bonanza, something that I haven't personally done since... oh, grade 5?

So anyway, eating about 12 slices of veggie supreme, a bowl of pasta, half a loaf of garlic bread and three bowls of mousse and washing it down with a few litres of sunkist seemed like an awesome idea a few hours ago... now the dull pain in my abdomen informs me that it was indeed probably a bloody stupid thing to do. The party was good though.

Still, Happy birthday Nick! Think of my pain as an 'extra present' :P

90% Inspiration, 10% Inovation, 26.2% Fluffy Bunnies

2007-03-07T22:40:00.000+10:30

If you try hitting that 'next blog; button at the top of this page, chances are you'll rapidly be amazed, flummoxed, annoyed or incredulous; there's a dizzying array of purposes and personalities out there.

Of course, I'm hardly the first (or probably even the thousandth) person to start a blog about going to a foreign land. The novelty of the concept itself has assuredly vanished, and if you read enough of them even the content seems to repeat itself; rants about language barriers, jokes about vending machines, photos of bizarrely translated (or just plain bizarre) English signage.

All the same, some of the musings of these people manages to provide an engaging reading/viewing experience; I've collected some links to what I think are the most engaging such sites out there; Think of them as my 'esteemed contemporaries':

An Englishman in Osaka : He's English, he's a man and he's in Osaka. He also happens to have a great website devoted to his quirky (and very English) perception of Japan's second largest city. His photographic finds in particular are priceless.

Gaijin Smash! : You've possibly heard of this one before, seeing as it's something of a minor 'internet legend'; and possibly the 'original' (or at least most well known) 'American guy in Japan' blog. It probably helps that it's also really well written and consistently interesting.

Sushi and Maple Syrup : This one has a particular resonance with me, since Mr. LaFleur also served time as an AEON employee, in his two years he made a bunch of friends, skied a lot and got married. Yikes! :P Obviously that kind of adventure makes for some great stories. His photos are also excellent.

Tokyo Times : Ok, this one is technically cheating since it's not a 'blog' per-se, still it's far too hilarious to not mention. Few websites as adroitly highlight the 'uniqueness' of Japan as well, and I'd wager that none offer the same laugh/jaw-drop to wordcount ratio that the Tokyo Times does... check out their youtube links if you feel like taking a real head-trip.

As for me, time continues to tick by... the Japanese consulate in Melbourne still has my passport held hostage while they (presumably) verify that I've never been convicted of anything that wasn't a parking offense and/or laugh at my not-exactly-awesome passport photo. The facial holograms built into the new passports are probably a great anti-counterfeiting measure, but they aren't exactly flattering, in fact staring at my own blurry visage makes me feel slightly nauseous. I wonder if that's how I look to people who are inebriated? If so it certainly explains why they would choose my shoes to vomit on.

I went out with my parents to see Miss Potter tonight, and surprise, surprise it actually turned out to be rather good! Not that I have anything against Beatrix Potter (like generations of children in the U.K. her stories formed a cornerstone of my bedtime story material), but period-pieces aren't generally my thing. Ewan McGregor again demonstrated his amazing ability to make just about role interesting, and just about any film watchable (to me, he will forever be remembered as the man who saved Star Wars by steering episodes 1-3 into a controlled crash instead of letting them crater completely). Anyway, the point is, if you like cute bunny drawings, the English countryside, pinafores and Renee Zellweger then check it out, you won't waste your 90 minutes, and if you're one of those people still obsessing over Moulin Rouge then you also get to hear Mr. McGregor sing for a few more seconds... yay! (?)

Right, I'm off to bed, 'cause I have this thrilling plan to start a new book tonight; I'm tossing up between Snow Country by Yasunari Kawabata and White Teeth by Zadie Smith... choices, choices...

Pimp My Blog!

2007-03-04T19:29:00.000+10:30

I finally finished getting this site in some kind of order (if only the rest of my life was so easy to customise and keep tidy!) Despite my grasp of HTML being roughly comparable to my mastery of Japanese I've managed to replace the admittedly lovely 'lighthouse and rocks' design with some custom content. Hopefully the result is something that feels more like 'Shaun's web-space' and less like 'another one of those generic blogspot sites'.

While I can take full credit for messing around with the colours and photoshopping everything to fit together in a (hopefully) aesthetically pleasing fashion, there is exactly *nothing* (blue heading bar excepted) that I can take credit for actually creating. Accordingly, thanks and references are in order:

- Both maps are courtesy of the Sasebo tourism board, who are kind enough to make a large array of such navigational aids readily available.

- The ship in the lower right corner is the USS Kermit Roosevelt (pictured while moored in Sasebo harbor during the Korean war) courtesy of Robert Simpson and his excellent site dedicated to that vessel.

- The coding for the clock is from clocklink, the weather report (which is actually based in Nagasaki, but still close enough to be accurate) is from the weather network. Fine coding all round!

- Chiyo (the small girl in the upper-right with her stereo) is my small tribute to the work of Kiyohiko Azuma, the creative force behind the Azumanga Daioh manga and anime series, both of which have brightened many a dull or dark moment and deserve excessive praise. Go read/watch and then you'll know what I'm talking about when I start quoting! The image is from Mr. Azuma's own blog (which may be even cooler than mine, it's hard to tell since I can't read much of it)

- The text in the centre is hiragana (not kanji, ironic huh?) and reads 'arigato gozaimasu': 'thank you very much'. That's a sentiment I extend to everyone who visits here, because after all you're taking time out of your own life to sit down and read about mine!

Anyway, I hope you like the new look. It's been fun to put together!

Suits, Students and Kissing.

2007-03-02T21:19:00.000+10:30

Another shopoholic-type day today; I've spent the past two days immersed in the capitalist dream; buying vast quantities of clothing so that I can look like a salaryman and earn, well... a salary. Actually it hasn't been that stressful, and despite the need to have most of my pants tailored I'm pretty happy with the resultant look. Now I just need to figure out how I'm going to get this vast quantity of clothing across the ocean without busting through the insanely frugal QANTAS baggage limits. At least that's about it now, I just need to find a few suitably 'subdued' ties and I'm set.

Things haven't been all totally crazy travel preparations though- I blew off some steam with Nick, Frank and Juanita last night and shed a tear that unlike them, I'm not attending a tertiary-education institution (or any other kind of institution!) this semester. At least I have a bunch of friends I can rely on to keep me vicariously involved in that world; it's strange to look at my expired student card and walk through the university at this time of year without thinking about procuring readers and finding lecture rooms, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't going to miss it on some level. Have a great time out there for me guys and gals!

I watched The Last Kiss (y'know that movie with Zach Braff and Rachel Bilson) a few nights back, not as good as Garden State in my opinion, but still solid and very watchable. Maybe it just hit the right chord with me since it had a theme about taking chances, breaking out of the monotony of life, making mistakes and not giving up on yourself or others (I love it when movies tell me I'm ok!) But I was pretty hooked. I encourage everyone to check out the thoroughly awesome soundtrack too, I think Zach might have missed his calling as a music producer.

Right, I'm signing out... there's coffee to be drunk, books to be read and itinerary's to be written!

Paperwork and Phraseology

2007-02-28T23:09:00.000+10:30

I mailed off my final paperwork to AEON today and dropped down a ridiculous amount of money to fly into another hemisphere (how much can jet fuel, freeze-dried food and those crappy in-flight magazines cost anyway?) So barring some giant problem with my Visa I'm pretty much locked-in... like on one of those rides at theme-parks, the ones that semi-frequently explode spreading mayhem and blood all over the general candy-floss munching populace...

Anyway, 35 days to go (not that I'm counting... much) and I've still got a bunch to organise; finishing up with my visa, cataloging my clothing requirements, buying a years supply of deodorant (I'm not kidding, the manual says that Japanese deodorant is totally weak), setting up my laptop and choosing what CDs to take... not to mention planning my going-away party (suggestions gratefully received).

I'm still vaguely trying to learn Japanese, and I have a grasp of some basic/useful phrases: "Iie! go-ryoshin dewa arimasen! Kaishain desu!" ("No! I'm not your mother! I'm a company employee!") It's the written stuff that I'm finding hardest, having to translate not one but THREE different alphabets into romaji (the English syllabic equivalent) and then translate *that* into English is... confusing. Here's hoping I don't die by accidentally ordering/wolfing down octopus balls. :P

Also in the name of 'research' I started reading this novel by Rob Payne called 'Sushi Days', which is about this Canadian guy who goes to work for a English-school called BIGSUN (a shockingly disguised NOVA variant). It's really good and despite the horror described has actually has made me feel somewhat more confident- after all if some fictional Canadian wannabe-DJ can do the job and survive I can too, right?... right?!

Ok... time for me to quit and go to bed, I've got a big day of buying shirts, drinking coffee, phoning consulates, watching movies and whining to friends tomorrow!

Maps, Maps, Maps....

2007-02-16T11:00:00.000+10:30

"Where the *expletive of choice* is Sasebo?" Is one of the more common responses that I get when I mention the place name. Accordingly I submit the following visual aid to clarify the situation:

More specifically:

So now you know.

Sasebo is something of a 'resort town' for the Nagasaki prefecture, famous primarily for being home to large naval bases for both the Japan Maritime Self-Defense Force and the United States Navy. It has a population of about 250,000 people and is about 90 minutes away from both Nagasaki and Fukuoko. That's the basics anyway, I'm just hoping that sailors are nice, I can find a decent cup of coffee and that I don't end up spending every weekend at Japans largest (and only) replica 17th century Dutch-village/themepark that happens to be in town.

Wanna know more? try the tourism boards website or just hit wikipedia.

New job, new country, new shoes, new blog.

2007-02-16T00:49:00.001+10:30

Hi everybody! Welcome to Kanji For Beginners; the new and upgraded home for my autobiographical exploits. (Livejournal is soooo 2001 don'tcha think?).

The main reason I created this site is to provide my friends and family with salient information on my upcoming adventure/quest/job teaching English in Japan. I accepted a position with the AEON corporation today, and after I finish the mountain of paperwork that work-related travel involves I'm due to jet off to Sasebo on April 5th to begin my illustrious career as 'Shaun-sensei' (or possibly 'koala-sensei' if 'Shaun' proves to be too hard on the local memory/palate). Of course if you wandered in randomly from some corner of the net then welcome too! Read, laugh comment... 'cause what's the fun of being severely out of your depth if there's no-one to share it with?

Kanji For Beginners

I Hate Mr. James.

My own private culture dance.

New World Order.

Rats out, Oxen in- 2009 Let's Begin! *wave pom-poms*.

Shaun's Jolly Anti-Christmas Entry!

Sumimasen, Shirimasen.

Mr. ALT, *this* is your life.

New Friends, Childhood Dreams and the Shinkansen Girl.

Sports Festival, First Year

Stubbing your toe on the language barrier.

Noko is Loco.

From the 'bo, to the No'.

Blog defrosting.

Livin' in the hood.

Gomen...

Stars.

Stripes.

Balls must be kicked, deportation must be avoided.

NOVA means 'explosion'.

Furnishings are the spice of life.

New Friends, Jazz and Dental Health.

Flyers? Japanese? Kickball!

Goodbye Spencer, Hello Telecomunications.

All that Glitters is not Golden Week.

The Eternal Placeholder Post of Slackness.

Don Tak Who?

Monkey (or is it Kyushu?) Island.

A Week of Gold.

Welcome to the J-Pan...

My Flat, My Job and an End to Suitcase Living

I am sensei, hear me snor... uh, roar.

Practice makes perfect...

Still on the Train(ing)

Training and Tourism

Fukawhatta?

Day of Flight.

Translations For the Lost.

Postcards = Reassurance, Murder = De-assurance.

Try This at Home.

Novocaine, Bowling and Changing Clocks.

Bring the Noise!

My Media Circus.

Adelaide Cup: Public Holiday or Den of Inequity?

Birthdays and the Sin of Gluttony.

90% Inspiration, 10% Inovation, 26.2% Fluffy Bunnies

Pimp My Blog!

Suits, Students and Kissing.

Paperwork and Phraseology

Maps, Maps, Maps....

New job, new country, new shoes, new blog.

Rats out, Oxen in- 2009 Let's Begin! wave pom-poms.

Mr. ALT, this is your life.